ups and downs
Saturday, June 01, 2019
I felt very stressed out over work last weekend, but this weekend I seem to have been able to set it aside and clean up the lingering paperwork in the office. We had a financial planning seminar at work and it set me to wanting to clean up, clear out, tally up, and keep track.
The young coworker who I felt was mocking my smiling at her reacted when I stopped. She gave me angry, twisted looks in the hallway, which upset me further. I just ignored her and carried on. New strategy when they hire another new person: I do not need to be friendly. It just isn't worth it. I know many people at work that I've known for a long time. I'll stick with chatting with them. This experience made me upset and uncomfortable at work. And I seem to notice a lessening of civility in people generally, made worse by our current president's attitude, in my opinion. Getting to Trader Joe's yesterday after work, I noticed the crazed drivers who drive right up your back. This is becoming more and more prevalent on Long Island, NY, where I live. In Joe's, there was a tiny much older woman who was standing with a cart looking at the food, and a 40's-ish woman dressed in business attire was going crazy because the woman was in her way. She shoved her way in between the two of us gray haired ladies.I just kind of looked at her in disbelief for a moment and she caught my eye, turned and stormed away. The tiny lady taking up too much space looked right at me and gave me a big SMILE! It made my day. But there seems to be far too much anxiety and anger in people. Kind of scary.
Even with the drama at work, I logged in to SP, logged my food, read blogs, and continued adjusting my habits.
I keep going up and down 2 pounds. But I am observing my own habits and trying to self-correct. Habits like tasting things too much while cooking. Resorting to the vending machine at work, a habit I thought I had broken. Sneaking extra snacks. I'm trying to parent my "inner child", take care of myself in a real way. The experience with the coworker made me feel very old, but I still feel that change and growth is possible at any age. Maturity? It's optional at any age. Carry on, brave Sparkers!