Trying to Stop Waiting
Monday, May 13, 2019
"Balance restored!" - Captain Literally
I'm trying to stop waiting for the day when everything is "normal" again, or the day I finally figure out what "balance" looks like in my life. As soon as I think I've figured it out, something happens and it feels like everything is out of balance again. Grasping for perfect balance has been throwing me off, wearing me out and giving me an excuse to not participate in things I'd like to do (or should do).
I received some sad news this morning and I'm choosing to feel the sad rather than eat the sad. Today I'm trying to add in another habit, one that has eluded me for a few years - consistently going to bed at a decent time. For now I'm going to set that time at 10:30pm.
I have consistently failed at this goal, always making excuses why I have to stay up later - it's been a rough day and I deserve to watch something, I don't feel tired, someone else has stayed up so I haven't had "me time" yet, etc, etc, etc. I've been waiting for perfection before chasing after this goal (feeling ready for bed AND feeling like I've had "me time" AND feeling done with watching stuff, etc, etc, etc). It's time to stop waiting.