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Happy Mother's Day

Sunday, May 12, 2019

Good Morning; It is very early. I slept well finally. this weekend was full of stress from my DS. His life is so chaotic and his wife is worse. He asked me - why am I like this. He was fine in the Army - he does well with a script of life. But having to make big decisions or plan something - it is way above his pay grade now. He has PTSD - actually in a counseling now. I worry about my son who is nearly 30 and still having a hard time living. I have worried for so long about him and now his daughter. But I got up this morning- wondering how this day is going to be. Going over my daughter's house today to bring her Mother's day. I woke to a poem by my DH who expressed all the hard work I have had managing our household and our kids. He is very grateful. He travelled for over a decade weekly and I always felt that he had the easy path. Managing two children during their pre & teenage years was no fun. I could not get a handle on my weight and health. But today I am on a food plan that works for me.. The real reason that I am succeeding is my knee injury. I had to stop drop and roll - to take care of me and put myself first. I am grateful for this time to pay attention to me. Now I know my DH knows it too. Being a mom is the hardest job I ever had. I tried my hardest but did not always see the results I expected. In fact I truly do not understand many of the decisions both of my adult kids make. I just have to let go. I did not have much of a childhood and always wondered what one would have been like. But what I say today is that childhood took me far, I have had a successful career and being a mom was like being a tight rope walker without a net. I do wonder what my son's life would have been if he had not gotten injured at 20 in the Army. Now I get to see my grandkids today. We are going over for breakfast. Life is good and I am grateful for my health, FP and you all. Have a good day!!! emoticon
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