Coronary Artery Disease Does Not Define Me.
Saturday, May 11, 2019
I don't want to forget this, so am documenting here. First Draft, warning, no editing if you choose to read.
In 2017 I managed to lose enough weight to walk several 5Ks and road trip half the country. When I returned home DH whom I always loved, but had divorced in the spring because he kept making bad choices died seven days from a cancer diagnosis. I managed to make amends with him and his children and be there to help with his care, but I have been plagued with guilt and anger ever since. I am still mad at the VA for not listening to me ten years ago, for forcing me to leave him to protect myself from his PTSD, etc. My inability to cope led to regaining all the weight I had lost despite belonging to SP and TOPS. Starting in February I worked in my friends tax office and it was great fun, but I knew I was pushing the CFS boundary. I also struggled with all the food and candy laying around and handed to me. So another five pounds added. Last two weeks I managed to get two different types of flu. I couldn't seem to recover any strength. A week and a half ago, I started having severe chest pains, but decided it was heart burn because I binge ate peanut butter and tortilla shells. Some alka selzer helped back off some of the pressure. 2am It got even worse. I thought about calling an ambulance but didn't want to terrify my granddaughter. So I took 4 ibuprofen. I was able to sleep. The next morning, I still had pains, but not enough to make me cry. I called Kaiser. First I got the intake person. She had a nurse call me back, who had another nurse call me back, who had a doctor call me back. He told me to drive to the nearest emergency room. By the time I got there (40 minute drive) and walked up the hill, the pain was ratcheting up to a ten. Luckily, they were waiting for me and whisked me right in and gave me a nitro which seemed to work quickly. Had a wonky (their words) ekg and stress test, so was transported by ambulance to the big city for an angiogram. Rounded up friends to recover my car and feed and walk Buddy. Before I left, I overheard a nurse telling someone I was very lucky. At the new hospital they gave me a blood thinner, without taking into account all the aspirin and blood thinners I had already been given. I woke that night feeling something dripping on my leg. When I got the lights on I looked like a crime scene. Nurse answered the call button immediately and within seconds another nurse arrived. One kept pressure on and the other mopped up all the blood and changed my bedding and then put a pressure bandage on me. Before the mopping was done, an "expert" phlebotomist showed up and put a new IV in that did not hurt or bruise or rip. It laid flat on my arm. Boy was I grateful for that. Did not realize how much the one from the first emergency room had been hurting till it was gone. The angiogram went off without a hitch. It was also painless. All they told me was that I had a little plaque on left artery. Never have heard what set this off. So basically all I knew when I was discharged was that I was prescribed statins. One doctor called it angina and another said I had a little plaque. Looking through my Kaiser profile I saw a new diagnosis to go with the Hashimoto's and Sleep Apnea that said I have Coronary Artery Disease. Looking this up, the only thing I have not done right is the binge eating and not losing weight. I really live a pretty clean life. So, am doubling down on trying to do right. I sent my questions to my doctor and got yet another doctor. The good thing about Kaiser is that everyone supposedly has access to all information. The bad news is they don't have time to read it. So really did not not get my questions about the slow heart beat answered. Because I have been struggling with increased dizziness since coming home and I have quit driving until this straightens out. Also, I was getting better till Thursday and then severe fatigue and dizziness took over. I feel like the CFS has hit again. Kaiser has not acknowledged that diagnosis from 9 years ago from a different doctor. Anyway the doctor ordered an at home monitor to see what is going on. I thought good, they can see what happens when I get active. I was advised to call immediately and got a text to call. So I call, and I get a consult to discuss the heart monitor July 3rd. Really!!! It is urgent I call you back, but not urgent to find out what is going on with my heart. Arggghh. I have a phone consult on May 15th as follow up to hospitalization. Hope this doctor (one more doctor that doesn't know me) can give me some answers.