Okay! It is only 10:08 in the morning and I have already ate all of my calories up, except for 65.
How on earth did I do that? Well, let me tell you.
I take a thyroid med in the morning, and I'm not to have calcium, iron or antacids for at least 4 hrs after. I'm guess that they mostly mean vitamins etc, but who knows.
Well, I went to my chiropractor and got my adjustment, then decided to stop by Starbucks to get a chai latte. I'm not one that goes to Starbuck regularly. I haven't been there at all this year. Anyway, my stomach was making noises, and so I got a classic chai latte and a classic coffeecake. It was very good. But when I got home and was looking up the nutrition-that did it.
The grande chai was 240 calories and the coffeecake was 330.
Next time I will skip the coffeecake and try the latte with almond milk. I've heard that it is good. That was the way I was normally going to get it, but they were busy and I felt I didn't want to hold anyone up, they needed to get to work or wherever.
Well, going on; when I got home, mom had made some oatmeal. So then I had some oatmeal, with fruit. Then I came on SparkPeople to put food in my trackers and that is when I saw it.
The calories, sugars, sodium, etc. Normally I would beat myself up. But I didn't.
Instead of calling myself names, dummy, stupid, oh I blew it agin, etc. I chose to say- "ok, I overdid it. I have learned from this mistake. I don't do it all the time, or deliberately try to over eat. I just wasn't thinking about what I was doing. I felt hungry, so I ate."
I still feel good about myself. I did walk around the block today, and didn't feel like it at first. I may have to walk on the treadmill a little or do some other exercises, but I'm ok.
I've been not feeling well this week, and didn't eat much. Sunday, I only ate one small meal. Today was really the first this week I really ate quite a bit. I know I can say NO to food.
It's amazing, how when you don't feel well, food doesn't look that appetizing. You don't feel like eating much or even at all.
Even now as I'm typing this, the thought of food just doesn't sound appealing. It may be also that not did I over eat today, but I've gain weight back. And not just a few pounds.
Sometimes, I guess I just need to hit the bottom so that I can bounce back up.
I know that I can do it. Maybe not on my own, but with God's help and the help of spark friends, and other positive help, I can do it.
I'm getting out of the "do things by myself" phase. I do need support (I'm finally, truly admitting and believing it). I really don't have to be afraid of someone condemning me, putting me down. I'm stepping out. I refuse to let fear of rejection and failing to come into my life when it comes to losing weight, getting out of debt and other areas of my life. I'm tired of feeling like a slave. I'm tired of feeling sick and tired.
I AM FREE TO BE ME. FAULTS AND ALL. I AM WHO GOD CREATED ME TO BE.