jokes and water
Saturday, April 27, 2019
This is our assignment for the Aspire and Inspire sparkteam Blog about what you do to make sure you get all of your water in. Do you like drinking water or do you do it because you know you need to? I do it because it necessary, Have you ever added anything to your water to help you drink more of it?no
I thought this was important enough to pass on:
2 glasses when waken up- this helps to activate internal organs
1glass 30 minutes before each meal- helps with digestion
1 glass before a bath-helps to lower blood pressure
1 glass before bed- helps to avoid stroke or heart attack
Women's Compact Instruction Book
Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.
Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.
Don't imagine you can change a man-unless he's in diapers.
What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
So many men-so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.
If they put a man on the moon-they should be able to put them all there.
Tell him you're not his type-you have a pulse.
Never let your man's mind wander-it's too little to be let out alone.
Go for younger men. You might as well-they never mature anyway.
A man who can dress himself without looking like Forrest Gump is unquestionably gay.
Men are all the same-they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
Women don't make fools of men-most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times men wouldn't ask for directions.
If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, 'oh all right, I'll stay the night."
Women sleep with men, who if they were women, they wouldn't even have bothered to have lunch with.
Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.
If he asks you if you're faking it tell him no, you're just practicing.
Sadly, all men are created equal.
When he asks you if he's your first tell him, "You may be, you look familiar."
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field, rowing a boat with no water in sight.
The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde: “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!”