Creating A New Normal

Nothing about my husbands passing feels normal. I keep busy but at night I feel it strongest. I wait for him to come home from work but he doesn’t come. I will never fall asleep to the sound of his snoring again. I want only the good memories. All his stuff just reminds me of his absence. I began with the two most communally used rooms, the bathroom and the kitchen. With them done, I turn to “our” room. The kids want me to make pillows out of his funny t-shirts. I’ll keep his silly shirts. I’ll keep a couple of his sweatshirts so that on cold days I can feel his warmth around me again. I’ll keep his Masonic pin, his grandfather’s military medals and a few special items each child will cherish now or someday. But to begin our new normal, the strange continuation of life without him present, I need to make “our” room “my” room. Tomorrow I will begin sorting his stuff as things to keep for the kids, donate, and throw away. I will begin putting our lives back in order by putting our house back in order. I miss him, the kids miss him, but we can not live in this loss. We need to cherish him while continuing to live again.