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stress and jokes

Saturday, April 20, 2019

April is National Stress Awareness Month and April 16th is National Stress Awareness Day. It is sponsored by the Health Resource Network (HRN). They started this holiday in 1992, to increase public awareness of the causes and cures of stress. What are areas in your life that create the most stress for you? my work and taking care of mom
How do you generally react to stress? not well but I am learning each day to handle it better than the day before What are ways you have reduced stress in your life and/or ones you would consider trying?
1. walking
2. smile
3. I know most people need to get away from the tv when they stress but for me it relax my stress
4. Go to Your Happy Place in your mind
5. do some stretching
6. take some time to focus on your senses in the moment
7. Connect with a Friend or a close family member
8. Find Your Jam - turn the radio on when you stressful
9. Enjoy a Cup of Tea

jokes
FUNNY DIET ONE-LINERS:

1. I KEEP TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT BUT IT KEEPS FINDING ME.


2. Q: WHAT MAKES THE TOWER OF PISA LEAN?
A: IT NEVER EATS.

3. THERE ARE TWO THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER EAT BEFORE BREAKFAST: (LUNCH AND DINNER).

4. IT'S NOT THE MINUTES SPENT AT THE TABLE THAT PUT ON WEIGHT, IT'S THE SECONDS.

5. A DIET IS WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO TO SOME LENGTH TO CHANGE YOUR WIDTH.

6. HOLLYWOOD'S FAVORITE DIET: STARVATION.

7. BY THE TIME I'M THIN, FAT WILL BE IN.



8. DIETING IS WISHFUL SHRINKING.

9. HOW CAN I GO ON A DIET? THE REFRIGERATOR IS STILL FULL.

10. SKINNY PEOPLE TICK ME OFF!!! Especially when they say things like, "You know sometimes I forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my car keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.

One Easter, a father was teaching his son to drive when out of nowhere a rabbit jumped on the road. Slamming on the breaks, the son said, “I nearly ruined Easter! I almost ran over the Easter Bunny.” His father replied, “It’s okay son—you missed it by a hare.”

A parishioner was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed the parishioner by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" The parishioner replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

364 days of the year: Do NOT eat anything you find on the ground.
Easter: Go and search in the dirt for candy a strange giant bunny left for you, kids!

The Funny Story of the Taxi Driver and St PeterSt Peter Religious Joke
One Easter a priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.
'Come with me,' said St. Peter to the taxi driver.
The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St Peter to a mansion. It had everything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.
'Oh my word, thank you,' said the taxi driver.
Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rough old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.
'Wait, I think you are a little mixed up,' said the priest. 'Shouldn't I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God's word.'
'Yes, that's true.' St Peter rejoined, 'But during your Easter sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.'
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