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My Body Remembers...

Thursday, April 18, 2019

WARNING: Grief Material

I don't pay much attention to anniversaries of losses or negative events. I would rather focus on the positive. Today has been a rough one as it is the anniversary of my Daddy's death. Yes, I am almost 50 and he was and will always be "Daddy" to me. I was doing okay moving on with my day and then felt a kind of emotional drop. I have learned over time due to my work that the body has a memory and I am no exception. Even though my brain didn't immediately clue in what today was, my body remembers. I reached out to my family here and to my siblings in the state next door and told them I love them. Today it means a little something different. It's been 12 years since he walked on. Sometimes it seems like less, others it seems like more. Today, the grief is more fresh than usual. I didn't have this experience this way last year. Today is more raw for some reason. It almost feels like he's closer today. I realize everyone has their own views of death, life and what comes after. I'm not trying to offend anyone or challenge their beliefs, I'm just talking through this experience hoping it will help to lighten it a bit. I did not formally exercise over lunch as I normally do. I went to the grocery store and bought things for supper for tonight and tomorrow. I dropped them at the house on the way back to work. I walked a mile in the process. It's just a mile, but it is something. I have plans for other distractions this evening and I am grateful for that. I want to be alone, but I know that is not the best thing for me. So, I am "trudging through" as my sister said. I will look for moments of joy as I go.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    186 days ago
  • no profile photo ANDY-57
    Hope your day went okay after all--and grief isn't something you can bottle up on the day the event happened. Albeit, we all handle it differently, people may feel it years afterward. So no worries about us here at SP, concentrate on yourself and the wonderful memories your 'Daddy' brings to mind. He's yours forever! emoticon emoticon
    186 days ago
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