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Changes in the Air

Sunday, March 24, 2019

I was chatting with my DD on Facebook last night. She asked me to consider helping her come back. Back, not only to this city, but to my house.

Now, I have been enjoying having the place to myself with the 2 cats - only one of which is daily in my face. It's been peaceful, and the gas & electric bill, the water bill, the grocery bill, have all been lower, you can imagine!

But I'm going to be 66 this year, and I'm not as flexible as I used to be, and from time to time I have thought that it could be rather risky to be alone at my age. I have two friends who also live alone - one of whom has diabetes - and so we have taken to texting each other at least once a day to make sure we're okay.

And, since my DD will NOT be with her EX nor his other 3 children - I have considered the matter as not altogether - unlikeable. Furthermore, it is not uncommon in Latina families to have extended families living together, In my Pucallpa home in Peru, there are my elderly parents-in-law, my husband and myself, his son and his son's significant other, and their 2 children. Four generations. As long as there is mutual respect and cooperation, there's no problem.

Now, the week of April 15, I have off from work. That Monday through Thursday, Flower City Work Camp is going to make some fix-ups to my house. Thursday I have a doctor appointment in the afternoon. I calculated the logistics and figured I could leave right after my appointment and drive a few hours before stopping for the night. Then I can take off again in the wee small hours and arrive later that night at my daughter's. While I collapse and sleep, she and the kids can load the van. Then the next early morning we can take off. We can stay at a hotel about halfway, and the next morning be on our way again, arriving at home Easter Sunday night - and I will be able to return to work on Monday. I made the reservations. Now all I have to do is make arrangements for someone to come and look after the cats Fri-Sun.

I mentioned the prospect of their return to my son, and he said it would be a bad idea. But I disagree, for reasons cited before, that it's not terribly good for me to be living alone. I had thought of renting, and why not rent to someone I know? Furthermore, she is not with that guy any more, so I will not have to put up with him. In fact, when it had been just the 4 of us for a few months, it was really quite nice.'s to another chapter in my life!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Whatever you do...make it work for you...boundaries and expectations...your house, your rules and all that. Mutual respect goes a long way and is necessary in any household. Take care of you and stay on your priority list, Shel. Love and prayers~
    354 days ago
    I know that God will lead you to what is right for both you and your daughter. Thank you for your very thoughtful blog! You are in my prayers.
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    373 days ago
    I think what makes you feel safe and comfortable,in the end you have to think of you and your husband also.
    373 days ago
    Honestly, it's such an individual choice and decision. It's all in what YOU feel comfortable with, as long as you set ground rules to be honored.

    Good luck to you!
    374 days ago
    I divorced and moved into my own home a long distance from my ex and kids. After about a year my youngest came to "go to school", which didn't pan out. He left briefly but has returned. My older son followed several years later, to "get his feet on the ground" which didn't pan out. I do not mind having them live with me. But.....bills are all on me as both of them are in and out of work. I am 69 and retired, this is not what I had planned. I also do the majority of the house work, including yard work (by choice, I love to garden) My suggestion is to set some guidelines, hard, well established guidelines that delineate finances and workload in the house. I do love the companionship.

    374 days ago
    My son and I live together. We have a great working arrangement and it makes my life easier as I am 69 and have diabetes and work two jobs. If you choose this move, you can make it work for you!
    374 days ago
  • TWEDEE777
    It also gets lonely at times. Might be a wise decision. Good luck!!
    374 days ago
    Live your life by your choices. Only you know what is best for you!
    374 days ago
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