Tuesday, March 19, 2019
21 years ago 3h08 am, 4 weeks after an acute peritonitis surgery, I was giving birth to my youngest daughter... She was a preemie born at 32 weeks and weighing 3lbs 11 ounces. My birthday gift!
There was a sense of emergency. Overwhelming emotions Not knowing if I could handle all that. I had spent 3 weeks without eating because my bowels hadn't restarted after the surgery. I had lost about 25 pounds in that time and felt emotionaly and physically weak. But we made it! She is now a young adult with her own life.
I didn't remember that almost 9 years prior to this on March 21 1989, I was giving birth to my eldest daughter. And that birth had been a drama also. I was at the hospital when I suffered from placental abruption. Basically the placenta tore from my uterus before I had given birth. I was bleeding to death and had to have an emergency C-section. I went from looking forward to giving birth and being happy to sitting in a pool of blood and seeing the panic in the faces of the nurses and even the doctor. I entered surgery convinced I had lost that baby. But no, she was born in a bit of distress but was perfectly healthy 10 minutes after being born.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2012. That was scary! But I made it! It was not as bad as having your appendix rupture while pregnant or having you placenta doing what it did.
All in all, I have to remember a few things :
- Sh** happens
- I am strong and can take it (both physically and mentaly)
- I've been lucky
- I am lucky that I live in a country with health care. (the 10 surgeries I had in my life plus the cancer treatments would have done me financially!)
- There is always a light at the end of the tunnel even if I can't see it right away
- When I feel overwhelmed I should always remember that.
The changes that I am making now are for me to enjoy life as long as I can. To have the chance to grow old and wrinkled and see my great grand children like my parents did.
I can do whatever I want! Anything that happens that interfere with that is only postponing the moment I will achieve what I want.