Not Today, Satan!
Thursday, March 14, 2019
200 pounds. ON THE DOT.
How I yell when I'm on a roller coaster and I'm actually having fun - yep, that just happened. I'm wearing my Stranger Things tank top that I scored on Target clearance and have never been able to wear yet to celebrate. It's a little tight, but not too bad (I don't think anyway, my mom would say differently probably).
If you're not already a die hard fan of the show (which you would be if you've seen any episodes), you should start and get immediately hooked. It's so great. Next season starts July 2019! Last season came out Halloween, it was so perfect!
My friend from New Zealand who was like my first sponsor (circa 2007) showed up in my Facebook Memories this morning, so I sent her a message, and looking through some of the old emails, I realized it's been a year since I quit smoking (Feb. 2018). I can’t believe it, but I’ve gone a year without one. That’s crazy to me. I was so stuck on smoking!
Now I just have to win this battle of the food addiction. I’m really trying to let go and just have some common sense about things. Yesterday was a really rough day emotionally and mentally, and my husband offered me chocolate from Cero’s (a really good chocolate store here in town), special St. Patrick’s Day chocolate, and I told him to wait until I get under 200 pounds and then I’ll have a piece. Right after I said it, it was the weirdest thing but I felt like I got hit with sadness! I talked to my therapist about it. She is suggesting I wait a while, try eating one piece, and if that doesn't start a binge, then try another piece. I feel like the guy in the Big Book when they talk about if you don't know if you're an alcoholic, there's a simple experiment...I'm scared to eat it. I'm afraid I'll spin out of control again.
This morning I showed up to work and someone had made "Magic Cookie Bars". It’s chocolate, coconut, and pecans. That was harder to say no to. I had to email my OA sponsor, text my husband, and post in 2 different support groups, and go to a staff meeting before it got to where I felt better about not eating them. I’m going to get a shirt made for days like this, "Not Today Satan".