2,500-3,999 SparkPoints 3,810

The lowest of lows.

Friday, March 08, 2019

Today was my rest day for exercise which was good because my little guy had a doctors appointment. While at the doctors she was asking me questions about things he can do but he can't or doesn't do those things yet. All I can think is it is my fault he can't. Maybe being a single mother is bad for him. Then that gets me on the thought about how i didn't want to be a single mother and I wasn't enough for his father to stay with us. I didn't feel these emotions on the surface at the time, but it's the only thing that can explain what happened later.
I went to the store to get him a new teether and something for lunch. I knew what I wanted wasn't the best choice but I picked up one of those small party pizzas for us to share. I was going to get a pint of ice cream but then decided for the same price I could get a bigger container so I did. I drove out of the parking lot thinking about how proud I was going to be able to come on here and post about how I didn't go crazy on this froyo I had 1/2 a cup like the serving says. We got home and I got the spoon...it was good, I couldn't stop. I eventually did, but went back again and again until...it was all gone. I am so disgusted with myself and I know how sick I'm gonna be tomorrow, I knew as I was eating it!
Why did I do that? Why can't I just enjoy a little bit of something I don't need to eat all of it! Tomorrow is weigh in day and all meals are planned and my water jug is full. It will be a better day and I will work on what ever today was because if I don't this weight will never come off.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    227 days ago
    Don't beat yourself up over it. That ice cream served a pupose for you so use it as a lesson. It's a red light food so in the future, get the smaller size. The money might be greater but the cost to your self esteem doesn't make it worthwhile.
    228 days ago
    Thank you, that is exactly what I"m gonna do! Can't put it back now so best to move on with better choices!
    228 days ago
    I would encourage you to put this behind you and do not punish yourself .. It happens, and the best thing is to go on and from the sounds of it--it does not seem like you are eager to do it again. Forgive yourself as you would a good friend .... emoticon
    228 days ago
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