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But am I really hungry?

Thursday, February 28, 2019

How could I be, when I had steelcut oats with nuts and seeds, and banana, for breakfast?
When I had a whole grain seed cracker with almond butter, an apple, and clementines since arriving to work?

I was thinking of going out to the catering truck in a few minutes to get an egg sandwich, but then I stopped and gauged my hunger. I am not really hungry. I just want to eat. Why? To soothe my emotions. To lift myself up. To distract myself from work. So I am eating a container of raw veggies and hummus instead.

In the back of my mind: hopeless about every catching up with the mess at home. Ashamed of this. Frustrated at my lack of time. Sick of going over my feelings and the noise blowup of (how long ago?)

Raw veggies and hummus are good. I substituted rather than white knuckling. Sometime I will have to just say no to myself, though.
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