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40 Day Progress Journal

Monday, February 18, 2019

I ate half a lemon cake today that one of my co-workers brought to the office. I knew not to even start on it, then when I had started, I knew to stop, yet I kept on going and going and going...even when I stopped enjoying it, I kept on going, piece after piece, until there was nothing left but crumbs and my humiliation. WTF IS WRONG WITH ME??? I'm going to pick up where I left off on this 40 day challenge and summarize everything up to that point. I made it to day 5. This was back in December ... Days 1-5: I AM SETTING THIS GOAL BECAUSE - I have no consistency. It's hard to put my socks and shoes on (it hurts and I can't breathe). I want to be able to hike with my husband in Colorado, and do another 5K, and do the YMCA triathalon. I want to fit into my old clothes. I want to be able to have sex with my husband without hurting him or myself. My knees hurt every time I get up - sometimes to the point I'm almost in tears. I have to eat antacids almost every day. I want to be free from the bondage of my addiction. I need help!!! THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME B/C - my food choices and lack of exercise add to my depression. It's a revolving door. I like being able to hike and run and keep up with my husband. I like looking nice and having professional clothes to wear to work. I don't like feeling like a slave of myself. I like feeling good about myself. WHEN I'M FEELING UNMOTIVATED I WANT TO REMEMBER - I always feel better after I go to the gym. Eating crap makes me feel like crap. I can go to India after I keep my goal weight for a year or more. It hurts to move and get dressed. I have a whole closet full of clothes I love that I could wear if I'd get my butt and brain in gear. Eating garbage makes it worse. I have acid reflux that causes me to say foxhole prayers. I don't have enough time is not a valid excuse. Every minute counts so get up and GO!!! I can do this! God will help me if I ask Him for help! My knees are SHOT. If I ever want to get rid of the pain, I need to work for it, and lose the weight, before it's too late, and I need to have a replacement(s). I want to remember how much time and energy went into meal planning before I eat something that's not on the plan, and every time I say "F it, I don't care" I always care later. Always! FIT TEST (12/26/19) - 1 minute: Squats - 40 Pushup - 24 Situp - 22 I believe in recovery - my own - and when I believe in my success, I'll find it. Go to the gym, go to work, don't stress out. Food is everywhere but so is HP! Change is possible once you live up to your commitments. Do what you said you'd do. My attitude is better when I'm consistent with my morning routine and eat healthy. Plan to have a good week but stay in today. GOALS: - exercise 30 mins/day, every day - follow meal plan! - drink at least 48 oz water per day - rely on HP, sponsor, recovery, etc. Tomorrow's questions: 1. What's one health or fitness thing you accomplished this year? 2. Do you feel prepared to tackle your goal? If not, what's the one thing you need to feel ready? 3. What obstacles do you anticipate? How will you handle them? "If you don't like the road you're walking on, start paving another one" - Dolly Parton
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You can do it with your HP. Let go and Let God
    236 days ago
  • no profile photo HOTPINKCAMARO49
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
    237 days ago
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