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Reminders and Attitudes

Thursday, February 14, 2019

The anniversary of the loss of my daughter is coming up in less than a month. It will be three years she has been gone. And I realized this morning that I am not acting or feeling like myself. There are several times a year that it seems to be especially hard, and this is one of those time periods.

I find I haven't been writing as much, I haven't been talking or interacting with others as much, I struggle to have a positive attitude, I don't "feel" like exercising, my attitude is less than happy and not always even really nice, I'm struggling to not feel depressed.... all kinds of things.

The reality is, I am always going to miss Sami. She was my first baby, the first being in the universe that ever made me understand what it meant to love someone unconditionally, and to feel that same kind of love in return. I'm deeply grateful for every single thing about her, for our relationship, for the blessing and gift it is and will always be to be her mom.

But see, I also know she doesn't want me to get lost in the dark places again. She would me to move forward, to love, to show that love to others, to take better care of myself, and to be there for Deni (my youngest daughter). Sami would never want me to give up. She believed in me even when I was so very lost in the darkness.

So I am going to do better. I am going to remember, but I am going to continue to do the right things. I haven't stopped all of them, but I'm slacking, and I need not to do that.

Today I honor her by walking more, exercising more, loving more, living fully and being present in each moment. I love you Sami. Thank you for being mine.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm sorry about your loss. You need to keep her in your heart and do what she would want you to do. Hugs to you and hope you're getting ready for the challenge! Take care of yourself.
    257 days ago
    My heart goes out to you. She lives on.
    262 days ago

    I cannot imagine a greater loss, and I so agree with you... your daughter would want the very best for you.
    We are not ever to forget them. We are to keep moving forward though, as much as it hurts. ((HUGS))
    263 days ago
  • LINDA!
    I am certain that you are right. She would not want you to be sad and mourn throughout your life. I hope that you don't feel guilty for moving on. It is all that you can do.

    However, you will certainly miss her for the rest of your life. emoticon
    271 days ago
  • LILIANN400
    So very sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. Mourning the loss of a loved one is one of the hardest things in life but normal part of the loss. My heart breaks for you. Celebrate her life today🌹
    272 days ago
    So sorry for your loss
    272 days ago
  • READY201811
    The love a mom is so special and the mother daughter bond so deep. Valentines is love, hearts, and yours is broken. I’m thankful you feel you can share that with us
    272 days ago
    I think it is truly amazing that you can recognize these things and are willing to move forward rather than letting them pull you down. I commend you for your bravery, also, in sharing your thoughts with all of us. My heart goes out to you.
    272 days ago
    I'm sorry about your loss
    272 days ago
    I understand all too well. Big hug.
    272 days ago
    She sounds like she was a very special person. Try not to mourn but to celebrate her life. She deserves that and so do you. Peace be with you.
    272 days ago
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