Slow and steady
Thursday, February 14, 2019
I've never had a completely healthy relationship with food. I am Asian but grew up in Canada. In Asia, the norm was to be 100-110 lb at 5'3 to 5'5. When I was young, I spent my summers in Asia where I was criticized for being "fat," "overweight," "husky," despite being a very normal weight of 118-120 lb at 5'3. Every summer, I started a new diet. I remember trying to lose weight at the age of 12-13. I wish I could go back in time to tell myself this was completely unnecessary.
I've had a long history of dieting, only to fall off the wagon a few weeks later. While I was in school, I managed to keep my weight in the healthy BMI range through a combination of calorie counting and exercise, but the weight climbed by a few pounds every year. In my 20s, I went to university, professional school, met my husband, did post graduate training. Life got busier and the weight steadily climbed.
I had our first child at age 31. It was difficult for me to exercise and eat well when we were trying to conceive and during the pregnancy. Post partum, like many first time moms, I had difficulty prioritizing my needs. My son, although healthy and adorable, needed a lot of individualized attention. He never let me put him down! I returned to work early at 8 months. It was challenging to find time for me, again due to the long hours of my job. I never got back to my pre-pregnancy weight of 135 lb. I was only a few pounds away but due to never making an effort to lose those last few pounds, I never felt fit again and never felt like I'm back to being myself.
Fast forward 2 years later, we had our second child. She is lovely and is more tolerant to independent activities than her brother. I've learned that I need to work on my needs as well. I've chosen to take a longer maternity leave this time to focus on my family and myself. I return to work in September. I remember feeling the healthy, fit and attractive when I was 125 lb and exercising regularly. It is my hope that in the next couple of months, I work towards finding that balance again.
I want to lose weight slowly and steadily. I want to make sure this loss is sustainable. Most of all, I want to model a healthy lifestyle for my children.