Nightmares - Empty Tables
Thursday, January 17, 2019
I dream of tables that are spectacularly sparkly clean, without a speck of food on them, surrounded by idle, mournful would-be diners.
The first is from my childhood, when father forbade anyone to eat before he did, but we must assemble as if there would be food. It was a square white table - same in the dream.
The second was from my 30s, courtesy of my Boss, who absolutely insisted that I attend her birthday party in a posh hotel. I have PTSD so that's not easy but I got there. There were ~20 guests, all seated around a bare naked beautiful long table, with Boss at the head and the last place for me (the late-comer) at the bottom of the table, facing Boss. I stared - not even a tablecloth or a napkin or a glass of water - nothing. Boss said, "Since it's my birthday, we're doing things my way. I go to your parties where everybody stuffs their face." Did I mention she's Size 2? Did I mention I'm the Fat Employee? I panicked and left.
The third ... I can't remember! Maybe it's my sense of deprivation right now, which has more to do with my own budget, and current lack of everything.