I'm drowning here. I hope just for today.
Monday, January 14, 2019
I am so bad at writing my thoughts down. I go back and read and re-read to see if I am saying what I really mean. On my video blogs, I would just say it and let it go out into the universe. Didn't matter if I said the words right or if I punctuated my sentences.... I just said what was in my heart and hoped one or two people understood me. Oh well, those days are gone and I am trying my best to put my words out as I mean them. Forgive me for any grammatical errors.
I feel as if I am drowning with no life jacket. I was hoping in my twilight years I would be happy and content like most of my friends but my weight and my mental state is holding me back. I can't seem to get on track let alone stay on this crazy journey I've attempted for over 40 years. I don't want to go out this life obese. I worry about having to go to the hospital and the medical staff not being able to handle me because of my weight or going to a nursing home and being mistreated because of my weight. I feel so desperate to lose weight that it hinders me because of my worries. Thank God I don't always feel like this but today I am. Please pray (if you are a praying person) for me or just send positives thoughts. They will be appreciated.