Will the Year I Turn 50 FINALLY Be "My Year" ???

It's a good thing I am so darn stubborn, as my dad always tells me... cuz I've fallen down a whole lot more than 7 times, and yet I just keep getting back up, dusting myself off & starting all over again, & again, & again (though I must say it's getting a little harder to do the older I get)...

I celebrated my 10th anniversary here on Sparkpeople last month, and didn't even realize it... kinda bummed me out when I realized that. To be honest, though, it bums me out even more that I've been here, with all of these amazing resources along w/ the awesome members & staff at my fingertips, and yet I am starting this year off weighing more than I did when I first joined back in December 2008. With all of these tools readily at my access, why have I not been successful?

That isn't entirely true though... my first 2-3 years on here were extremely successful! I got down to my lowest weight as an adult, I developed a newfound love for working out, I ran several 5K's w/ my BFF, and was even training for a half marathon... so obviously I am capable of succeeding in this journey. But just like every previous attempt to lose weight before I discovered SP, I allowed an injury & subsequent surgeries to sideline me, and to take full ownership of my problem, I will admit that I used these issues as an excuse to not exercise, not eat right, and the pounds just piled back on!

Over the course of my adult life, I am willing to bet that I have lost (& subsequently regained) the same 25-50 lbs at least a dozen times... and wouldn't ya know that every single time I regained the weight, some extra little boogers joined the original pounds that I had lost!!! Why does that always happen??? Can they not leave their friends at home just one time??? I don't remember inviting them to the party... but then again, I didn't really invite the original ones to come back either, so I guess they don't care about invitations & manners! (sorry... had to throw in a little bit of humor in here...)

So with this happening over & over, why do I keep trying again & again? Why don't I just throw in the towel & enjoy my life in 3X-4X???



This is why... this is what keeps me going... I recall the number of times that I failed prior to succeeding the first time, so I know that I can do it again... I just have to keep myself focused & motivated!

Motivation is usually the key to my success: I have to have a reason to succeed (& not just cuz I want to). I need to have something to shoot for... someone to keep me accountable... and a little competition never hurt! I should have all 3 of these this year...

First of all, I am turning 50 this summer & I promised myself at the age of 45 that I would get myself back on track & healthy again before I hit the "half century mark" (I owe it to myself to keep my promise)...

Second, I have 4 little grandbabies that I plan to be around to watch grow up... plus Gramma needs to be able to play w/ them when they come see me (which is thankfully very often)... right now, they are still little, so it's not so hard... but when those little ones start running around, I'm gonna be in a world of hurt if I'm still in the same shape I am right now...

Third, my son is getting married next February, and I really don't want to be the "fat" mother of the groom in the pics... plus the wedding is on a cruise ship, so of course I'd love to be in much better shape for the cruise...

Fourth, the afore-mentioned groom-to-be is also attempting to lose some weight & get in better shape for his wedding, so he & I having been challenging each other w/ the Activity feature on our Apple watches, which helps me take those "extra steps" towards the end of the day...

And last, but definitely not least... my body lets me know every single day that I have all of this extra weight packed on it, and let me tell ya'll... it is NOT a fan! My hip that was replaced a couple years ago gets "tired" way too fast... my knees & feet scream at me by the end of the day... and my back is aching a little more each & every day... as an orthopedic nurse, I am fully aware of the stress & toll all of this extra weight puts on my joints, and if I want to keep working (which I absolutely do), I have to do something about it! Following our busier shifts at work, I probably look worse than some of my patients the way I'm slowly limping to my car! Besides that, I'm feel like a total hypocrite, weighing almost 300 lbs, but then lecturing my patients about losing weight to make their joint replacements last longer & to ease the symptoms of their arthritis...



So here I am... another New Year... another blog about how this year is gonna be different...

However, this year things are different... I am not making "Resolutions" that I never keep...

This year I am making conscious choices to make this year "MY YEAR"... I am making lifestyle changes instead of just trying the latest, greatest meal plan or workout... and most importantly, this year I am also focusing on the "psyche" trying to figure out why I keep "undoing" any good results I have on the weight loss frontier, and attempting to create a better headspace for true success on this journey! After all, I feel it's only fitting that the year I cross that special "50" hash mark should be the year I finally go "all the way" to success!!!