1BEARWIFE
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I am ready to re-enter the world

Wednesday, January 09, 2019

My daughter died October 20 from incurable brain cancer. She and I were very close, and the best of friends. I couldn't save her, but I know she was comforted by me being there right up to the very end.

Life has been very painful these past years, and I lost a whole world. But now I am recognizing I need to rejoin the world.

I need support and encouragement to be able to go on. I have never gotten so much support as I have from Sparkies. ESPECIALLY the Spirited Underdogs, my bestest team.

I am trying to get back in with them, and hope I am not too late. I so very much want to join in with their challenges, tricks, activities and humor.

I am looking forward to being a Sparkie again. I didn't put on the tonnage while being the care taker; in fact, I held my weight steady. I attribute that to stress and lessons about eating I learned from being an active member of Spark.

One thing that is really strange!!! I am losing my appreciation for CHOCOLATE! I can't explain that, but in a way it is like leaving a dear friend. But it just doesn't "get it" for me like it used to.

Now I am on a fruit binge. Have you tried this years' Bartlett pears??!! Woo Baby!!! they are incredible! I am going to sign off and get myself a pear. Or maybe I will get 2 Pears! I have the point allowance and besides, I WANT PEARS!

Do you realize we have already had the longest night of the year?? That means we are closing in on Spring. Well, maybe not quite closing in, but we are headed for it! I want my arms to look better than bat wings by spring time. I swear if I flap my arms I can fly all the way to Dallas!!!

Stay tuned!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ROXONA
    I'm very sorry for your loss of your daughter. That must be the toughest thing to go through. I've been off and on with Sparkpeople over the years, and find it very comforting to know that it is always there for me.
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    132 days ago
  • KAYDE53
    So very sorry for the loss of your daughter. You’re in my thoughts and prayers, and have my sincere sympathy.
    133 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    Oh my, words are of little help, but I am so very sorry for your profound loss. It is not something a Mom should have to go through. So sorry.

    But glad you're back and for sure, we sparkies have your back. Keep on coming back as you are able.

    HUGS
    133 days ago
  • 1BEARWIFE
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    133 days ago
  • SUSIEMT
    I am so sorry for your loss. I can not even imagine what it begins to fee like.
    I am on the "Find 10" Challenge and you commented on the Charge 3 I mentioned. I got it for Christmas. It is waterproof up to so many meters (don't remember how many) keeps track of the # of floors you climb etc. The reason I really like it is because it actually shows the time and how many steps till you make 250 for the hour in case you are not real active. It shows your heart rate. But the clincher was that it like the flex 2 was waterproof not just resistant.
    Good luck to your re-entry it does feel like home to me!
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    133 days ago
  • DEBBY4576
    What a nightmare you have had to live thru the last few years. I am so sorry you suffered another loss. To lose a child is not the natural order of life and it seems like something that takes longer than other losses. I often wonder how my mom coped when she lost my sister first to breast cancer then my brother many years later. I knew it was awful, and knew the pain of losing a child myself, and it's something I never ever want to live through again. I am amazed at your strength. May your return to the world be a wonderful experience now and forever.
    133 days ago
  • DOG_MOM
    I am so sorry about your daughter's passing. emoticon There really are no words but know that we're here both as you rejoin the world and if you need to retreat as well for a while. Wishing you continued courage with all that you've faced.
    133 days ago
  • CHERIRIDDELL
    I am so glad to see you are ready to rejoin the world. You are so often in my thoughts.My deepest sympathies on the loss of your daughter.There are no words. emoticon Welcome back Sandy
    134 days ago
  • TOWHEE
    I have no idea why, but earlier today I was really thinking about you and wondering how you and your daughter were doing.
    I'm so sorry to hear of your daughter's passing. The last couple of years have not been good to you. At least your daughter is no longer in pain! emoticon

    I sure hope your challenge team can find/make a place for you.
    Know that there are a lot of us who have missed you and your messages.
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    134 days ago
  • MT-MOONCHASER
    emoticon My condolences on the loss of your daughter. I can't think of anything much harder than that. At least you had time to say your goodbyes. Be thankful for that.

    Are you still quilting? I am trying to get back to sewing/quilting, but the past few years I have been concentrating on knitting and crochet. Either way, I have lots of raw materials to work with.

    More emoticon !!
    134 days ago
  • BERRY4
    So sorry to hear of your recent loss of your daughter... emoticon
    ...and very glad to hear that you are wanting to reconnect & continue to go forth & live.
    Sending emoticon and encouragement to stay the course & keep on keepin' on!
    emoticon emoticon
    134 days ago
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