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Day 2 of 104

Wednesday, January 02, 2019

I'm wanting to eat right now. emoticon

I'm not physically hungry. emoticon My body does not need fuel. My brain and heart, on the other hand, is very busy and wants to be noticed...heard...

This is my typical state. This is my Achilles heel. This is my weakness.

I know many experts say that you can eat the perfect diet, exercise consistently, and still not lose weight if you don't fix the underlying, mental and/or emotional reasons that are causing you to eat excessively, poorly, or not at all (depending on your particular circumstance). This is a realization that is pivotal for me. I have known this since before I lost the 55 lbs back in 2013/2014. This is not new information for me. What is difficult for me is identifying when I'm wanting to eat out of pure emotions and consciously making the effort NOT to eat and deal with the emotions in a different way.

As I write this blog, this is exactly what I'm doing right now. I'm feeling such overwhelming feelings to eat. My brain is telling me to find something sweet. I have gone into the pantry TWICE already and TWICE I have put back the snack that I told myself it would be ok to have...all bc my heart and brain can't get it together and work thru some type of way I'm feeling.

So what am I to do? I'm doing it emoticon I'm going to start journaling every time I have a moment like this. For the next couple days, this idea will work. As winter break comes to a close and my routine of doing nothing all day - emoticon I'm a teacher, I deserve it! - comes to an end, I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do. Being at school all day doesn't allow me the flexibility to stop and reflect on why I want to eat, but to be honest, it doesn't happen a lot at school. At school, if I'm hungry, it's usually bc I'm physically hungry - haven't had lunch yet, need a snack. My hardest times are in the evening, after work, when it's downtime and I'm just unwinding after the day's work. Hopefully this plan works out for me, and if not, I will find something else in its place.

I've also noticed that lately I have gone back to the bad habit of seeing food as a treat and/or reward, a way I treat myself. I now realize that I need to break that thinking and come up with other ways to reward/treat myself that doesn't involve food. I do think this will help my weight loss goal a lot! emoticon

So I have found a notebook that I'm going to write in when I feel the need to eat. I'm not setting up any rules bc I know my perfectionist personality will step in and start bad talking myself as soon as I mess up. I'm setting myself up for success, not failure! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I strongly identify with much of what you wrote today. I’m working in seeing food as what it is—-just food. Not a reward, not a comfort. Didn’t realize how much I was doing that until I started logging what I ate. Keep going and stay positive!
    627 days ago
  • GEORGE815
    Way to go. Happy new year.
    627 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    627 days ago
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