Thanks Spark People
Sunday, December 16, 2018
As I stated before I used sparkpeople and have always been motivated by the spark points and the trophies. I stopped using it when I got MFP because it couldn't sync and everything else could. I came back to spark people because even though I had maintained the same weight without doing much of anything I started to gain. It started when I Was homeless and couldn't cook so I ate out a lot and I was surrounded by fast food which now I am not. I didn't lose that weight however when I was able to cook I found I had no idea how to eat healthily forgot how to eyeball a serving so I came back for the meal plans.
I realize that today that spark people is my motivation. I don't have anyone in my life who is supportive of me losing weight or cares that I am overweight or gained weight. My partner does not seem to mind if he does he doesn't say anything. So, it is up to me alone but having the motivation from SparkPeople helps. There are times most of the time where I don't see the scale move in the right direction if it moves at all. I don't feel that I am progressing at my working out even though my trainer is trying. Today I went to the store and had to buy 2x shirts I had to stop myself from crying in public. I realized last week that I was down to 3 pairs of pants (3 pairs of the exact same pant) and 3 gray shirts. Now if you wear the same pants every day people may not notice but shirts are different so I had to get some more shirts so I bought 7 different shirts and I am happy to not have to wear the same 3 shirts but I am sad that 2x fit the best.
I work out only because I have a trainer who encourages me not always gently to work out. All of the realizations over the past week make me feel like I am slow, but anywho. I was working out Saturday and I realized that I didn't want to work out because my clothes didn't fit. I didn't have any work out clothes that fit. Which made me really melancholy for a long while, I am feeling it now and I thought a blog entry might help. I went to fabletics.com with my yearly bonus from work and searched for clothes in my size and realized another reason to lose weight plus size clothes are ugly. I love old navy sweatshop labor notwithstanding I love old navy and they are one of the few name brand clothing companies who has not come out with something racist or ignorant. Yet. I know I am too big to go in there now and when buying clothes at this size I tell myself I need something to wear until I lose weight.
Until now my clothes have been fitting tight and very uncomfortable but I told my self that I would lose weight and they would fit and having tight uncomfortable clothes was my punishment for being so fat and my motivation to get it under control. But I work with the house of representatives for my state so I can't be walking around in clothes that look like I am going to burst out of them if I take a deep breath and having uncomfortable clothes was negatively affecting my job so I had to do something about that.
Coming back to SparkPeople when I did has helped me stay motivated to try because if I didn't want to earn my monthly spark points honestly I would not read the articles or do the visualizations from sparkcoach that make it so I can try harder. When it comes to my food choices I don't feel I have any unhealthy habits to kick. I don't have a weakness for fast food I since I have not been homeless and have been able to cook only eat fast food once a month. I can eat many normal foods. My weakness which is a mental problem is that I don't like foods that are to together. Like, I like sandwiches (and sandwich cookies
). However, I don't like soup, salad, casseroles or pasta with more than 2 things including the pasta. That is my weird mental thing. I guess I just wanted to make a blog thanking SP for keeping me motivated when I want to give up and just get bigger clothes.