My Adventures in Spark Land...Day 128 of 365 days...17 days until Christmas
Saturday, December 08, 2018
I spent a lot of time Monday-Thursday watching things they did to honor George H W Bush. I learned so many things. One thing of the many thing I learned is George's mother taught him not to brag about his own life. The media felt this cost him a 2nd term in office.
It made me think...did my parent's bring me up like that also? Hum I remember them never telling me they were proud of me. I remember telling that I was being bullied at school and she told me 'Stick and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.' so I learned to stuff all my feelings. I remember others telling me my parent's bragged about me all the time but they never told me anything which I am told is common for that generation. Then I remembered something. After my son was born, every time someone asked me about myself or my son, mom would swoop over and changed the subject to them and their family which I found odd. So between me going off to college and me returning home, life had changed for me so this behavior was odd for me. In that period of time I learned how to express my feelings so not being about to express anything was hard for me.
Then it hit me! When I started having legal issues with my son, when he was as young as 4 months old, I was not verbally allowed to share. After not being able to share my worst nightmare, my tummy started to bloat. Yes, my bloating could have been from a poor diet my mom had us on, it could be from food, and it could be from not being allowed to verbally express my feelings.
I need to process this information. My counselor became very ill and had to quit. I am on a waiting list for a new one. They sent me a list of other counselors in the area but I am unsure if my HMO will pay for any of them. I called yesterday and they have not replaced her yet. I am not 100% sure how I am going to handing this new information yet! I may blog more. I may blog less!
If I by any means offended anyone by saying Happy Pearl Harbor Day, I am sorry! I didn't know how to phase it. My Dad had 3 brothers. My Dad and all 3 of his brothers serviced. My Dad had 1 sister. Her husband served. My mom had a brother who served and got as for as working in the pentagon. He is buried in Arlington. My parent's discouraged my 2 brothers and I from serving. My son's father serviced and because of it, his college is paid for in full! I did support my son if her choose to serve. I still do. My 20 year old nephew is in the guards. One of my 1st cousin's husbands serviced. My sweet and very cute 19 year old neighbor just graduated a month ago from boot camp in Chicago. Yesterday she flew to Norfolk,VA where my uncles and dad also were based. I watched her graduated from boot camp on line in tears, I'm here for her single mom. Her mom has added me to private face book accounts as if I am family to support her daughter! By no means did I see yesterday as a day to celebrate!
Maybe I am like the former president Brush that does not brag about my family or myself. Maybe I don't phase words right. But you know what else Brush did, he treated everyone equal. He gave the eulogy for the man who ran his elevator because Brush tried him as a equal and got to know him!
Thanks for reading my blog.