"If you learn to work with all the negatives in life, you will definitely make better pictures out of it."
"I asked Walt to get the newspaper. He said, 'Don't be silly, use my iPad.' That spider never knew what freakin' hit him."
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Do I know her?'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive !'
It's Brownie Day! A very popular dessert in so many different variations in texture and icing: cake-like, fudge or like cookies; with or without icing. What's your favorite version? It's Christmas Tree Day! Whether you're a fresh tree die-hard or have embraced the artificial tree, today celebrates that Christmas symbol and tradition. Let's get those trees up and decorated! It's Brownie Day! A very popular dessert in so many different variations in texture and icing: cake-like, fudge or like cookies; with or without icing. What's your favorite version? It's Gingerbread Decorating Day (gingerbread was brought to Europe in the 10th century by Armenian monk Gregory of Nicopolis; the first gingerbread man appears in 1875), Shareware Day (honors all of the computer programmers who diligently create programs and apps to be used and shared by others without specific payment; different from open source, the programmers own the code), Take it in the Ear Day (varying takes on this day; some say the phrase was started in the movie "Liar, Liar" by the Jim Carrey character as something to say when you couldn't think of anything else; some have offered this day as time to intently listen to others and to listen without comebacks or rebuttals), Pretend to Be a Time Traveler Day (this could be a fun day; pretend you are a time traveler, past or future, and stay in character such as gasping when you see cars as someone from the past would, or ask someone what year is it and then say "Good! I'm not too late!" as someone from the future trying to save mankind might), and Lard Day (sponsored by the Healthy Fats Coalition to raise awareness of lard as a healthier alternative to butter; even though lard is from pork, it contains very little saturated fat and a lot of monounsaturated fats).