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I Am Trying Again!

Thursday, December 06, 2018

I decided to blog tonite because I have been at my wit's end. No reason that I can think of. Most of you know or remember when I came back months ago after my sepsis infection journey. I am still thanking the Lord for bringing me BACK. But something changed. I had gotten down to the weight I wanted to be and that would be between 120 bs. and 125 lbs. (Remember I had shrunk a few inches in the process of that year).

But I came home at 142 lbs. And I am NOT happy with it. But it seemed no matter what I did, I could not stay with it. I tried to remember what I did a couple years ago that worked then but isn't now. Well, most of you will also remember that I ate only basically veggies. I have never actually learned "moderation". Now recently, I have begun to be very disgusted with my situation. All I could think of was WHAT AM I DOING WRONG???? What am I missing from my old successful battle with the weight and what I am doing now.

Well, tonite, out of the blue, I started looking for answers. Now, I'm not saying I found ALL the reason for the difference in now vs before.

Just to recall my bout with sepsis, it is a nasty disease.
Anyone that does not know about sepsis, here is a link to find out:

An important part of the sepsis infection is loss of memory. That's where I am right now. It gradually gets better and better but it is a timely progression and takes from months to 1.5 years. My short term memory is still affected. We ate out with some friends today and when we got home I told John how nice the day was. BUT I couldn't remember my girlfriend's name. Denice. It took me many minutes to come up with it. SIGH

But that's not what I want to tell you. I'm on my road to recovery and losing weight. All of a sudden today it popped into my head how my first weight loss with spark about 2 years ago I believe, I remembered that when I didn't want to eat anything more, I would BRUSH MY TEETH! It worked all the time. I brush my teeth and use whitening mouthwash after and then I know that I am DONE. And I am still feeling that now. IT WORKS for me anyway.

I have more hope than I have in a long time. I will keep you posted and report in.

Back to memory lots of people are praying for me and it IS getting better so I am hoping by next summer or so I will have my memory back totally. That is what I have read anyway.

Thanks for listening and I will keep you informed of the progress!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    56 days ago
    When I'm stressed, I often have memory lapses. It's scary! I can't begin to imagine what it must be like for you to have big ones from sepsis. Hugs! Being patient after an illness or surgery or both, is the hardest thing. I know we want to feel like ourselves right now but alas, it takes time. We're all in this journey together. Hugs!
    67 days ago
  • JUNEAU2010
    No wonder you have been in my thoughts! emoticon
    68 days ago
    As for the "remembering" be mindful that some of that time you probably DON'T WANT to remember. I have worked with people who have had brain injuries, and believe me, many are grateful for what they DON'T remember as much as what they DO.

    Glad you are still with us, I am seldom on SPARK anymore, but occasionally pop in to check up on a few dear friends (you included)

    I am near my low weight for adulthood, and not really making effort at losing, but glad that I am not gaining either. Several people who haven't seen me in awhile have commented that I have lost weight, but the scale doesn't say so. I have been hovering around the same weight for about a year.
    68 days ago
    Teeth brushing sure works for me. It changes the taste in my mouth to something fresh and happy.
    68 days ago
    The suggestion to go back and read through your blogs is a great idea! I remember you had some wonderful blogs over the years and were very generous with what you were learning! So read them again for your own benefit. Print them out if you find some great ones that you need to read more than once. You can do it and I know you will get there! You are strong!
    69 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    Maybe reading back through your old blogs will help you. I do the same thing since you told me about the brushing, flossing and mouthwash(flouride). It does work.
    69 days ago
    God is still working on your total recovery and restoration, Gaye! He will not fail you so don't be anxious or fretful, just do what you know is right and patiently give Him time to do the rest.

    Love and prayers for you, my Friend!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    69 days ago
    emoticon one day at a time ikkle emoticon
    70 days ago
    I am trying again too. emoticon
    70 days ago
    Gaye I have no doubt that you will get yourself back onto your normal program... it takes time and you have been through a lot. Hang in there - you can do it!! emoticon
    70 days ago
    Sorry about the sepsis infection and your short term loss of memory. I'm 75 now and I have that just because I am old, but I'm still struggling through it. emoticon working at trying to remember. emoticon
    70 days ago
    glad that you remmbered the brushing the teeth trick. I use that one, too. And glad that your memory is coming back bit-by-bit. ((((HUGS))))
    70 days ago
  • NANCY-
    Remember to be kind to yourself. Who knows you may even discover something new that works for you too.
    70 days ago
  • ALICIA363
    I feel you "then is not now" and I never learned moderation either.
    Taking it a day at a time.
    emoticon emoticon
    70 days ago
    Brushing my teeth (and flossing 'em too!) is effective for me in signalling "kitchen's closed"!!

    And as for memory loss . . very frustrating but having confidence in memory recovery being slow and incremental may help. Too bad there is no support group for people recovering from sepsis to share their experiences . . .
    70 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
    71 days ago
  • JUDY1676
    I can understand your eagerness to have your memory totally restored~just like I want my back healed I have to remember what the Dr. said, it will take about 6 months to heal! I think the word for us is patience!
    71 days ago
    Glad to hear you are still improving. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself and that will help you a lot. I remember when I had a head injury that pressure made me forget what I thought I had remembered again. Taking things slowly helped me a lot. Yes I am still praying for you. emoticon emoticon
    71 days ago
  • DESIREE672
    I’m so happy for you that you refound this technique. It sounds like you’re on your way with your weight loss. Hoping for a timely recovery of your short-term memory too.
    71 days ago
    In some ways you have to accept the blessing in the situation... just think of it as re-discovery! So glad you're finding those little "surprise" things that worked before as your memory is being restored! emoticon
    71 days ago
    Sorry to hear that you had sepsis infection! Glad that you recovered - that is a horrible disease!
    71 days ago
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