RECOVERYMAMA
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Lack of Balance = Crash

Monday, December 03, 2018

Balance is a concept I struggle with. I have a tendency to overload my time with responsibilities, and this especially true in service in my recovery lately.

I am carrying 5 service positions, and to be honest, it is simply too much for me. I am tired, physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally. This past weekend was extremely stressful for me, and I feel out of balance in all ways.

I tried to talk to my sponsor, and her response (at the worst possible time, last night when I was literally in tears, I was so tired) was that I made these commitments. Well yeah, I did. I also did not anticipate there would be so much travel involved so closely together, or the time change, which means I have to drive in the dark (not a safe or good thing with my vision) since my travel partner has now resigned from his position.
So. My short term solution? I am going to walk. I am going to meditate. I am going to spend time with my kid. I will make meetings. I am going to work on eating healthier than I have been. What I'm not going to do? Focus on any of this mess (including typing reports) until I am more centered and more at peace. So that I don't say something I will regret, and so that I don't just quit until I've had some time to figure out what I want to do.

thanks for listening. I've been in tears from exhaustion the past two days, and I just needed to get this off my chest.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LINDA!
    I am so sorry. It is such a tough situation to be in. I have done this in the past. I worked full time, served on a school board in the evenings, had two kids...I was always tired and didn't sleep well. I do hope that you don't have a long time to continue this. emoticon
    349 days ago
  • BIRBKITTEN1234
    Sounds like you will work it out... Stay strong!
    351 days ago
  • MARINGAL
    Sounds like you are burning the candle at both ends. You’ve committed yourself so it’s important to finish your time. Pace yourself and next time... don’t over-commit.
    352 days ago
  • PACEKA1
    Oh I feel your pain. I have had days like that although it's been a long time. When my DH first left us and I was alone with my 5 children, a very demanding job, and kind of overwhelmed with thoughts of "how the heck am I suppose to do this". Yes, you made commitments but sometimes we don't know what all we are committing to. I like your approach. It sounds like you are putting yourself and your child higher on your priority list and that's as it should be! Once you feel more settled you will have a clearer mind to determine what is best for all! Good luck to you!
    352 days ago
  • SLIMMERJESSE
    I would tactfully step back from a few of them as your health is the most important. As a person who values keeping my word and commitments, there are times when it just can't be done. Don't wear yourself out. You need service to yourself.
    352 days ago
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