Last day of November 2018
Friday, November 30, 2018
Bittersweet. Real. Slow change. Progress. Setbacks. Celebrations. Courage. Strength. Fear. Vulnerabilities. Support. Disillusionment. Encouraged. Mis-understood. Not understood. Still here :)
Sometimes, I search for the right word to present a snapshot of my journey. Today, no one word seemed to fit, so I dashed out all the words on my heart in honour of a month well-fought and in anticipation of the month ahead. I have had several opportunities to show courage and I am so proud of me. Although these situations seemingly have nothing to do with my weight-loss journey, I can clearly see that they do. As I become more empowered to love myself and choose healthy things for my body, I am also growing stronger and choosing healthy paths to preserve my mental health. It has meant that I no longer associate with some people and, as grieving as the choices are, they sit better in my soul than trying to maintain relationships that make me feel "less than" and like I am prostituting my spirit for their acceptance. I have had numerous up and downs, both on and off the scale and I learned that only by showing up and putting one foot in front of the other will I ever learn how this story ends. You get what you work for :) I am still here.
I have felt the validation of support and the almost reflexive defensiveness of being lectured to about the eating habits that I am still struggling with. I am still here.
So I salute November with gratitude for the lessons learnt and with one of my favourite quotes from Sir Winston Churchill: "Success is not final and failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts."