10,000-14,999 SparkPoints 13,495

You hit rock bottom when you stop digging!!!

Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Reading through some old step work that I had done for AA and I caught this written in the side of one of the pages and how true it is! There's a part of the Big Book in "There Is a Solution" that talks about at times we are unable to bring about with sufficient force the memory of the suffering of even a week or a month ago. Every time I reach for something I know I should not be eating because it's not healthy or it's a trigger food that's where I'm at mentally and emotionally. I don't remember the suffering. I have forgotten about the pain and I have started to dig again. This is a choice and today I choose not to keep digging. Tomorrow I don't know but for right now I am doing what I need to do. This morning was a little rocky emotionally. I went to put on my winter boots that I wore just a year ago and my calves are too thick to zip them up. Ouch!!! These are the things I'm not thinking about though when I want to eat half a dozen donuts in one sitting or raid through my husband's and stepson's candy that my husband has to hide from me but that I always manage to find. I'm not thinking about how none of my clothes fit anymore and how I have heartburn and I'm uncomfortable and it hurts to even reach around and wipe my backside - how embarrassing!!! I am unable to bring about with sufficient force the memory of the suffering - but not today! Today I remember and today I am not willing to make choices that are going to keep me in pain. I don't want to dig anymore!
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    So true, so true. Just a couple of days ago, I saw my sideview reflection in the window of a classroom where I was teaching, and I thought, "Oh my God; even my BACK is fat!" I had not realized that, and it upset me. Then I went home and later that night out of boredom started eating bread. I had already forgotten the unpleasant feeling!

    I'll be different today. Thank you, Stephanie, for reminding me to remember the pain.

    Good luck to you!
    318 days ago
    It helps me to say I don’t eat ... or I am a gym person. I make it part of who I am. You can do this!
    320 days ago
    321 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by L-STREET-LOTUS