I need help
Tuesday, November 13, 2018
I haven't written anything here in a really long time.
I feel like I'm lost and I'm not sure how to find my way out. I've been trying to lose weight for the last 10 years and every time I start to do well something (myself) sabotages it. Right now I feel like I'm at the lowest point I have ever been at.
I'm at a job that feels soul sucking (I hate it). I wake up every day and attempt to eat healthy and do well during the day but once I get home after using all my will power through the day to deal with the people I work with I just stop caring. There's a "mean girl's" group who bully me at work at least a few times a week. I come home during my lunch hour and cry, then put my happy face on and go back to work. I am looking for another job but right now this is what I have to deal with. We're also having money problems and we're trying to do our best right now to budget so me just quitting isn't an option. we both need to work.
This past almost 2 years has also been rough. My son went through a really awful phase of drugs and stealing and suicide attempts and we decided to see if he'd be better off living with his dad. he's doing so much better now but there feels like there is a hole in my heart with him not living here and I miss him. he's still angry with me for "abandoning him" but things are getting better.
I feel like I've fallen into a deep depression and I don't know how to get out of this funk. I cry way too often for it to be normal and I'm worried for my health for both being overweight and for how awful I feel all the time. I sure could use some advice - ANY ADVICE- that anyone can give me. Thank you for letting me rant