SASKGIRL81
25,000-29,999 SparkPoints 27,806
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I need help

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

I haven't written anything here in a really long time.

I feel like I'm lost and I'm not sure how to find my way out. I've been trying to lose weight for the last 10 years and every time I start to do well something (myself) sabotages it. Right now I feel like I'm at the lowest point I have ever been at.
I'm at a job that feels soul sucking (I hate it). I wake up every day and attempt to eat healthy and do well during the day but once I get home after using all my will power through the day to deal with the people I work with I just stop caring. There's a "mean girl's" group who bully me at work at least a few times a week. I come home during my lunch hour and cry, then put my happy face on and go back to work. I am looking for another job but right now this is what I have to deal with. We're also having money problems and we're trying to do our best right now to budget so me just quitting isn't an option. we both need to work.
This past almost 2 years has also been rough. My son went through a really awful phase of drugs and stealing and suicide attempts and we decided to see if he'd be better off living with his dad. he's doing so much better now but there feels like there is a hole in my heart with him not living here and I miss him. he's still angry with me for "abandoning him" but things are getting better.
I feel like I've fallen into a deep depression and I don't know how to get out of this funk. I cry way too often for it to be normal and I'm worried for my health for both being overweight and for how awful I feel all the time. I sure could use some advice - ANY ADVICE- that anyone can give me. Thank you for letting me rant
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • RUTHDEE2000
    So sorry you are having such a terrible time Saskgirl...I find the we humans can be so mean to each other,and the tecniques of shame are unlimited ....please know that you are not alone and even the mean girls are like that because they have a low self esteem ,and it is their way to make themselves good...
    I'm sure that's why I love my dog better then any person...
    As for having a child with a substance issue,find a group to get you through it...if you can afford a bit of therapy,do what you can....
    I hope you find a good friend to help you in your struggle...sending positive thoughts...hugs
    30 days ago
  • HEALTHYPERI
    Try to find a good therapist to speak with. There are low cost and even free around. You need to change some things in your life to feel joy. Money problems are not fun but going to a job each day that robs your soul is not the answer. Is there work that you would enjoy? Even if you need to take a little training it is worth it if it results in joy. Also walking helps me with low level depression. Try walking and even with the kids after dinner. Do a scavenger hunt with them or a fun game. The best of luck to you.
    31 days ago
  • JAZZYGF
    hello so sorry a job that you hate and co workers that taunt and tease
    I am back on another path Ive been dieting my whold life at 73 I am now at my lowest since 2016
    Noom is my plan dont read the reviews they are terrible.At first I though wow but then they only gave the plan just a few days
    no it takes time I am signed up for 4 months and feel confident this might work coach article daily quizes on the articles 1200 calories,neal plans and a facebook group. Us this my answer well time will tell but it does not work in a few days. emoticon emoticon
    31 days ago
  • SISUGAL906
    I was at that point 2 years ago & a good friend promise me I would feel better talking to a therapist, he was right. It's an expensive investment but the most important one. Insurance should cover some cost. I ended up paying $15 a session. Priceless
    31 days ago
  • JOANN25
    Everyone has said the things I could say. I know what depression is and how hard it is to pull yourself out of it. For me, I try to keep busy, keep a positive outlook on life and when the negativity checks in, put it on the back burner (out of sight, out of mind).

    I would also suggest that you find someone professional, or just a friend, that you can lay everything out with no judgements being made.

    Hang in there and take it one day at a time (even one hour at a time if you need to). Things will get better.

    Take care of yourself.
    31 days ago
  • -POLEDANCEGIRL-
    Lots of hugs!! I find that exercise helps me a lot. At work, I go for walks at lunchtime. That gives me time away, gets my heart pumping and the vitamin D helps my moods.
    31 days ago
  • IGSBETH
    I am so sorry. I hope you can find your way.
    31 days ago
  • GOLFGMA
    Find someone to talk to, a close friend, a minister or even a counseling service if there is a free one in your county. emoticon
    31 days ago
  • JUNETTA2002
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    31 days ago
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