Jokes and goals
Thursday, November 08, 2018
jokes and goals
This is our assignment for the Aspire and Inspire sparkteam:
Blog about your progress the past month and your goals for this month.
1 Eat less CRAP -
C-CARBONATED DRINKS - still need to give up ginger ale
R-REFINED SUGAR - doing good at this
A- ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS & COLOR - still doing good on this
P- PROCESED FOODS- still a work in progress
2 EAT MORE FOOD:
F- FRUITS & VEGGIES -try to eat 3 different freggie a day-and at least one being a veggie - did this most day
O- ORGANIC LEAN PROTEIND- working on this
0-O- OMEGA 3 FATTY ACIDIS- forget to do this
D-DRINK WATER - not good on this
3. . focus on my ASPIRE & INSPIRE team - did good
4. . focus on my SPICY SPARKOLOGISTS - did good
5. .focus on my 5% walking team - did good
6. A commitment to keep my 10+ fitness minutes streak going I - I am now on my 517 day
7. LOSE weight I now weight 173.8 gain weight now at 175.8
8.no eating in the middle of the night-working on this
9. start tracking my fitness minutes - doing good on this
10 try to do stretching every day - did this half of the time
1 Eat less CRAP -
C-CARBONATED DRINKS -
R-REFINED SUGAR -
A- ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS & COLOR -
P- PROCESED FOODS-
2 EAT MORE FOOD:
F- FRUITS & VEGGIES -try to eat 3 different freggie a day-and at least one being a veggie
O- ORGANIC LEAN PROTEIND-
0-O- OMEGA 3 FATTY ACIDIS-
D-DRINK WATER -
3. . focus on my ASPIRE & INSPIRE team
4. . focus on my SPICY SPARKOLOGISTS
5. .focus on my 5% walking team
6. A commitment to keep my 10+ fitness minutes streak going I am now on my 517 days
7. LOSE weight I now weight 175.8
8.no eating in the middle of the night-
9. keep tracking my fitness minutes
10. try to make 25 point on spark each day
Hiring a Fitness Coach
Hiring a good fitness coach can be a challenge, but it's not hard to tell if you've hired the wrong one. Look for these signs. If any of them are true about your fitness coach, you've definitely hired the wrong one.
10. He insists a bag of Doritos is necessary for doing crunches.
9. After you explain your fitness goals, exclaims, "Oh, you meant physical fitness!"
8.Has designed a special resistance machine to train your "love muscle."
7. His business card states he works for "Belly Total Fatness," and those aren't typos.
6. He can't seem to compliment your progress without adding "...for a fat guy."
3. Uses a McDonald's cheeseburger wrapper as a bookmark in the training manual.
2. Makes a beeping noise like a truck backing up every time you walk across the room.
And the Number 1 reason...
1. Has a workout regimen that involves you pushing him and his out-of-gas car around town so he can run errands.
Excellent and Funny Thoughts About Walking
1. Walking 20 minutes can add hours to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $8000 per month.
2. My grandfather started walking five miles a day when he was 60.........................Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.
3. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
4. I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
5. I joined a health club last year, spent about 450 dollars. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.
6. Every time I hear the dirty word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
7. I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
8. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a very small country.
9. I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years....................just getting over the hill.
10. Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a "Happy Hour" and by the time I leave, I think I look just fine.
You could walk this over to your friends but it's less hassle to just e-mail it to them.
Amusing and Funny Fitness Tales and Jokes
This story is allegedly true, and is about Michael Johnson.
Apparently the Olympic gold medal runner was on his way to a night club with some friends. At the door, the bouncer turned to him and said, 'Sorry, mate, you can't come in here, no denim allowed.'
Michael was quite upset at this and retorted, 'Don't you know who I am? I'm Michael Johnson.' 'Then it won't take you long to run home and change, will it?' concluded the bouncer with finality.
Repartee Take 2
John, a regular runner, asks his wife, Jayne, 'What do you love most about me? My tremendous athletic ability or my superior intellect?' 'What I love most about you,' responded Jayne quickly, 'is your enormous sense of humor.'