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High Point of my life

Wednesday, November 07, 2018

Well, as of this past Monday morning, I weighed the most I have ever weighed in my life, 180 lbs. I'm only 5' 2". I'm sure I'm well into the obese range right now. Definitely not where I want to be. It was back in 1998 when I weighed almost that much (179 lb), in the early years after my divorce. Maybe I deliberately let myself hit this high point right now. I don't know, but this is where I am right now.

The last 18 months have been extremely hard on our family, and on me, personally. My life has been turned upside down and my depression came back full force. There have been some wonderful moments during that time as well and I am so very grateful for them and for something to look forward to (twin grandbabies any day now!!). All of the events of this time period have truly been a huge opportunity for growth and for learning, mentally, emotionally, and now physically with my health.

I'm working hard (with a therapist) to change my relationship with food and I believe that as I continue to explore and address childhood trauma, along with addressing and coping with the current family stressors, that I will truly address some of the causes of my overeating and food issues. I'm looking forward to that. In the meantime, now that I have hit that undesirable "high point" of my life, I am newly re-motivated to do what I can to lose the extra weight I am lugging around.

It may sound like an easy thing for some people - to just track food and lose weight or to just eat different foods. Well, because I want to make truly lifelong changes, I am digging deep to find truly sustainable ways to improve my life and health, one day at a time.

I just needed to make this little (big) 'confession' about my current weight so that I can move on, be honest with myself, and work harder and with more accountability to make the changes I need to make.

Thanks for reading!! ONWARD!!!!
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