Waving goodbye to the wagon as it drives away
Thursday, November 01, 2018
Well, October sucked worse than a convention of thirsty vampires.
I fell off the wagon so bad my “diet” ended up watching it drive away from the bottom of the ditch.
If I could, I’d try to find a bright side...unfortunately, the only positive thing I can think of is that October is finally done and over with and it’s now November.
I didn’t gain back *everything* that I worked so hard at getting rid of, but I’m still unhappy with gaining 6lbs.
It isn’t even the numbers that are upsetting me so much right now. No, it’s the fact that I can *feel* my chubby tummy being chubbier than it was at the end of September and my clothes fitting a little tighter than is comfortable.
I *was* planning on getting a haircut this weekend, but now I’m not so sure. I might withhold it and use it as a reward for when I lose the weight I gained back. Which means I’ll probably have to wait until next month. (Unless my weight gain is mostly water retention, in which case losing those 6lbs might go faster.)
I wasn’t really all that surprised that October was kinda sucky. It really isn’t my favourite month. October and February are two of my least favourite times of the year. October because my Mom died October 16, 2014 and February because my Dad died February 15, 1992. In both cases I was at their bedside and holding their hands when the end came. In some ways my Dad’s death was the hardest because I was so much younger...only 17 at the time. On the other hand, I was very close to my Mom and I very much miss her (especially during canning season as that was kinda our thing to do together).
Anyhoo...October is a stressful and sad time for me and I really could’ve coped better than reaching for the junk food. No matter which way I look at it, even if it’s “healthier” than potato chips, bingeing on Caramel and Chocolate Chip Rice Cakes is still bingeing. I know better than to try to “eat away my sorrows”; it’s never worked before so I have no idea why I thought this time would be any different.
So, here’s to a new month with a new goal and renewed determination.