Feeling anxious... and tired... low blood sugar
Monday, October 29, 2018
There are times I get so tired of my medical issues... my hypoglycemia is acting up tonight. Last I checked my blood glucose level was at 40. Yikes! That’s the lowest it’s been in a while, and almost into the call a friend for a ride to the hospital territory. Sigh. I have a protocol that I follow when this happens, and I am doing that, but the waiting until I recheck my glucose level seems to stretch time. They say time is a constant, but I beg to differ! My perception of it, is of a dynamic force that speeds up and slows down, depending on circumstances... like anxiously waiting for something. lol. It’s only a 15-20 minute wait to recheck, but it feels like it takes forever. (And yet, somehow, it also flies by!). And don’t get me started on the passing of the months, seasons, and years! They are speeding past faster and faster the older I get. Anyone else feel like that?
One of the cruddy effects of a blood sugar low, is that it makes me really tired, but I know I cannot sleep until my level stabilizes. So, I am exhausted, but my anxiety keeps me from sleeping, sometimes for a good portion of the night. The possible outcomes of falling asleep without stabilizing my level are potentially pretty bad, so I am awake and trying not to stress too much, when normally I’m asleep at this time. (The Cooper-dog is asleep, with his chin on my thigh... I would like to think if I started having a seizure that he would bark, and wake up my neighbor... but I have never had to test that, and he is not trained for that skill...).
Okay... I rechecked... and it came up a little... a very little. It was at 48 on the 20 minute recheck. It’s headed in the right direction, but it’s still too low to safely go to sleep yet. Harrumph. Well, I am cranky and anxious and tired... but I’m trying to think of a silver lining for tonight. Hey! It may be low, but I didn’t have to go to the hospital, and it’s heading in the right direction now! I have to trust that the endocrinologist was telling me the truth when she said that in general I just had to be patient. If I treat a low appropriately it WILL come back up... eventually. (Even though I feel cruddy in the meantime, I am able to cope better knowing that my level will go up and I will start to feel better... knowing that the yuck is finite is a relief.). I know this stuff. Have known it for a while now. But my low levels have been coming mostly during the day (as far as I know), and I haven’t had to test the reality and my faith in the protocol... without someone nearby that I could reach out to fairly quickly and easily.
So, sorry for taking you along on my stream of consciousness rambling about this, but it made me feel connected to someone to type in between rechecking... so if you read all that babbling? You’re either brave or stubborn. lol.
One of the things I like about SparkPeople is the fact that I can babble, and so far no one has passed judgement on my babbling. Instead everyone has been supportive and kind. Unusual in real life or online...