Earlier this week, I was stunned to learn that, due to budget cuts, my deceased coworker's position will not be refilled. I had been metaphysically hanging on by gritting my teeth through the increased workload, doubly hard since I still miss Amy, my friend and coworker, and to find out that there is no daylight at the end of this workload tunnel was a real kick in the solar plexus. That has put me in a very bad mood this week and I have been fighting not to show the anger, the fear, the despair, the exhaustion, all of it. We learned a day or so after the bombshell about Amy's job that more cuts are coming. My boss cannot promise, of course, that I won't be laid off, so that adds to the stress.
But, the 30 day plan is still in force. I decided to work up to consistent 10K steps every work day and started at 5K. Then, after a day or so, I started dedicating the steps each day to a person or a cause and I found that kept me stepping more. Yesterday was the 29th anniversary of the Loma Prieta earthquake in the San Francisco Bay Area. I was there then and will never forget it. I did not know anyone who died when the freeway pancaked, but those images will never be forgotten. To this day, I don't like to be on, under or near an overpass in stopped traffic. I get very anxious! I left work just under the 8900 step goal I had set. I did not feel well yesterday and was not sure if I could do the 300+ steps. When I got home, I learned that the local grocery store had a bang-up sale on coffee (buy 2, get 3 free, which makes them about $3 each). So BF and I went there and were fortunate to get some coffee. Most of it had been sold on this first day of the sale! On the way home, we stopped and did early voting (yay - one more thing off the to-do list). Voting in this small town is actually pleasant. The folks are nice, parking is easy and, while there was a steady stream of early voters, no real line. AND a short ballot - not like California! Step count at the end of the day, despite feeling crappy? Almost 9300 steps!
I remembered to drink my relaxing night beverage before bed and that helps. I was in a bit of a better mood this morning. I decided today's steps are dedicated to one of my younger sisters, Liz, and am aiming for 6200. One thousand done already. On the way to work, I was stopped at a railroad crossing (I LOVE trains!) and had a four minute break to watch the cars roll by. In this rural area, I get to hear trains often, but I don't see them very often at all. This was, as usual, a freight train. I have happy memories of train rides when I was younger. That put me in a better mood and I started singing during the rest of my commute.
I don't know what the future holds, but, as long as I can afford to, I am going to continue this bone broth diet and increasing my exercise. I am going through a rough time, but, I also know I can't really complain. Many people have it worse than I do.
On my gratitude list? My SparkPeople community!