October/November Thoughts and Memories
Tuesday, October 09, 2018
October is still difficult for me, as it was always one of our families favorite times of year and in Halloween decorating, and Sami working at Nightmare on 19th Street (the local haunted theme park with 5 haunted attractions) for several years. Everything about October for me is about that, how much we all enjoyed it and celebrated our weird sense of humor and how fun it was to dress up and be creepy. And now, she's not here for it and it still just honestly really s*cks that she's not.
On top of that, it is about a month until the first anniversary of our loss of Cydnee, Sami's best friend (and the child of one of my very best friends). It doesn't seem possible that we lost one of our girls, and even more impossible that in less than two years we lost both Sami and Cydnee. One was hard, two is just unfathomable to me some days. They always said they were sisters and soulmates, and were best friends from infancy. Two peas in a pod, our girls.
I think about India, Cydnee's daughter who is about to turn 4, and I think about what it will be like for her, growing up without the two of them. Of course, she still talks about them. But they are still not here to cuddle and hold and love on her, and she feels that, as do we. And it just, man, it just really s*cks. Sorry, but it does.
I've really had them both on my mind and my heart lately, and I miss them so very much.