_COSMOPAULATAN_
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W1 - Summary

Sunday, October 07, 2018

Time flies, and yet we have the same 24 hours in each day. The irony of it.

Having been on a psuedo-vacation 2 weeks ago, I reluctantly took a photo that was full-body. When I looked at it, I didn't recognize myself and decided enough was enough.

I had reread "Women, Food and God" by Geneen Roth on that trip, and what stood out to me was "Pay Attention". I had the sudden - oh I don't know - "aha" or "epiphany" or whatever you want to label it that I wasn't paying attention to my life. I mean, I knew this cognitively but suddenly it hit home that I had been completely ignoring my world and simply existing. No connection to "being", and certainly not feeling important enough to take care of.

The day after I got home, I decided to start tracking my food again aiming for moderation and feeling full, but not restricting as I have in the past. Here's the deal - how many times have I been down this road? So many. Too many. I know what to do. This is not a problem of knowledge, this is a problem of doing. But what I can't do is do what I have in the past, because that is not sustainable. I have a lot of information of what works and for how long it works, so I have to moderate to ensure sustainability.

I digress. Spark set my calories to 1640-1990. My average was 2320 which is pretty good considering I ate out 5x and estimated a lot of the meals. The long and the short of it is I know I have been eating more than that in the past, so working towards less is a good place for me to be right now.

Movement you ask? Well, I had a really poor experience at the gym I belong to (that I never go to) and decided enough was enough of spending money on something I didn't use. I put in my notice. I have the rest of this month to go, but honestly they treated my friends so poorly I have no interest. I've found an Anytime Fitness that is close to me, but it's even more money than the other one if I am going month-to-month, but I also don't want to make an 18 month commitment right now and be stuck again. I am sitting on my decision because I'm still not sure which way to go. Plus, focusing on food is a lot of work right now. I don't want to get bold, try to address movement and eating at the same time, and then fail at both.

Slow and steady wins the race, right?

So it's been a long, strange journey where I find myself back at the beginning. Well, not the beginning, one week in. And that week is important because I did it. There was no drama attached. I still lived my life. But I paid attention. Paid attention to me. And as it turns out, that is pretty important.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MT-MOONCHASER
    It's good to see you back!

    Working on food tracking is great. It's a good way to see where you can improve your food intake.

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    14 days ago
  • EUPHRATES
    Hey lady! I'm back too (have been for a few weeks, after being symptomatic with the diabetes for months and finally getting to the doctor, and seeing some exceptionally scary numbers).
    Do you have Planet Fitness in your area? I love it - it's bare bones (just machines and treadmills) but it's open 24 hours and not very expensive.
    emoticon mm emoticon mm emoticon
    14 days ago
  • PDTB58
    I worked on calories and food changes the first year. It was easier to incorporate exercise. Remember weight lose is 80percent calories and 20 exercise...so I have been told
    14 days ago
  • JUSTFURKIDS
    Stay Strong & Keep SPARK’n! You can do it and your SPARK friends are here to help. Everybody has a strategy to share. :-) I’m down 65 lbs since mid Jan on Keto and it doesn’t feel like dieting but I realize not everyone wants2 give up sugar & grains
    14 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

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