Well, you'll be surprised at this one.
I had a therapy session with my psychotherapist this morning, and after posting yesterday's blog, I was open and honest about what I wrote, and my feelings about where I am and how far I've come, or not come. And the fact that I reprimanded myself for my failure to act upon my need to get healthy over the 12 months.
Her reaction? I was reprimanded for reprimanding myself. Why?
The reason she gave is that when we reprimand ourselves for failing to accomplish a goal, we equate these missed goals as "failures' and "negativity", instead of just a "setback". If we look at them as just a "setback", we can sit back, look over them once again, and evaluate what we learned from that setback, and adjust our strategy to move forward in another direction. When we apply negativity, we drag ourselves further down, and harm our self-esteem and desire to continue along the path we had intended previously.
In other words, we continue to plot a course for failure when we continue to set negative or harsh punishment as a response for the failure to reach an intended goal. And in weight loss, reaching a goal is one of the hardest goals to attain.
My therapist then explained how if we change our mindset and how we look at missing a goal as not a negative as maybe more of an opportunity to learn from retrospective point of view, then we give ourselves more of an opportunity to be positive and reinforce our attitude and give hope in our pursuit of successful weight loss.
Another aspect is how we look at weight loss. The word "loss' intends that we are intending to "find" what we have lost once again. In a video I watched some months ago, maybe even a year ago, the speaker spoke about the "releasing" of our weight, because releasing does not intend for us to find it again. It is our intention to never find it again.
By combining the two mindsets, the positive reinforcement for when we don't reach a certain goal, whether short term or long term, and the changing how we define how we intend to look at weight loss/release, we then begin to turn around how we look at the whole aspect. I know after talking with my therapist, I don't see it as I did before. And thinking of it as release, instead of loss, I have a different way of thinking about. I know I don't want it back, that's for certain.
But the thought of being positive about both my successes and my setbacks may be just what I need, and the need to stop reprimanding myself when I see what appears to be a "failure", because it is most likely not a failure at all.