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Hello-Is Anyone Out There? .. Answer Please.

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Tuesday, October 02, 2018

Hello?.. Earth to ground control!.. Can you read me? .. Is anyone there?
Answer please. Hello?

My friend here in Sparks, Patriciaann46, pointed out out in her blog that she had gone to a restaurant with friends. At the table next to them the entire group was sitting there texting while no one spoke!

I too have witnessed this . Went to breakfast one Sunday morning with my husband, and an older couple across from us sat the entire time texting. I did not hear any audible words exchanged between the two. Is this a New-age where we take vows of silence?

Many call technology "progress" but can we learn from past ways?
In this picture, these children are social, making eye contact and "talking" to each other.

Forgive me as I never try to be 'grim", however, this really happened.

A Horrible day it was. First thing in the morning we got the 'news.' .
As Mother's often do, she was telling her daughter to 'hurry up or she would be late to school! Suddenly, she heard a loud sound and busted through the door-only to find her 16 year old daughter had taken her life! ..

The nurses quarters, where I worked, turn to silence.

This was Jane and her husband's only child .
How could such a thing happen? ... "We had no idea anything was troubling her." ... The Mother later conveyed they used to be a close knit family who often talked at the dinner table but she saw a change once technology introduced a "sophisticated" phone, communication waned and her daughter was frequently talking on the phone or texting friends.

I know of one family where the house rule is to wait to speak until a commercial comes on. Never interrupt a good show or the news !

Call us a pair of creaky-old-dinosaurs, but in our home we are going back to: "I'll wash, you dry," when finished with dinner . This is a great opportunity to communicate about how each person's day went and life in general. Up close and personal! We love speaking in words, smiling and yes, even laughing! We do not text each other when in sight. But again, we just could be 'old fashioned.' Some evenings the TV stays off or is on for limited periods of time .

Thanks for stopping by today and I would love to hear your thoughts!
ADDENDUM: In consideration to several posts, I will clarify by adding: This does not include exceptions, such as hearing impaired, an autistic child wearing headphones etc. This addresses tech abuse.
(And I can't tell you how many times accidents have occurred with someone 'walking-'n texting at the same time! I am still horrified at the number of people who drive and text! My husband and I see it all the time!)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    we saw an interesting "art" installation in durham NC last year - it represented a couple celebrating their anniversary, each sitting with their technology at opposite ends of a long table, and the cake in between - with a mouse eating it, unnoticed, because the couple were too preoccupied texting. message...
    139 days ago
    Technology can be a HUGE blessing for those unable to speak - an Ipad app SPEAK made it possible to communicate with my sweet husband when he became ill with ALS. However, the constant phone in hand syndrome is definitely an issue. Thank you for addressing that issue.
    142 days ago
    I had to chuckle a bit (not at the suicide, of course!). My family - myself and my three kids - spend so much time together that we are often talked out when we, on rare occasions, go out to eat. We don't sit there texting, but as often as not several of us will bring books, and read while waiting for the food. I tell the kids it's rude, but as long as the rest don't mind, it's ok.
    146 days ago
    I forget my ph9ne all the time. Not attached to me. Hubby gets mad when I don’t answer him! Haha
    152 days ago
    Why do people bother to eat out together if they don't take the time to enjoy each other? What happened to conversation? If you have nothing to say what is wrong with comfortable silence?
    emoticon So sad!
    152 days ago
  • JUNETTA2002
    So true
    158 days ago
    Doing dishes when growing up was actually a fun time. We goofed around and talked about all kinds of stuff. Yes, where has the fine art of conversation gone.
    161 days ago
    We have a rule: No phones at the table; we must engage in conversation and leave the electronics for after the meal when everyone is finished.
    161 days ago
    162 days ago
    162 days ago
  • DESIREE672
    I once saw a young couple hugging. Both had iPhones in their hand on the partner’s back. Both were looking over the partner’s shoulder at their iPhones.
    163 days ago
  • no profile photo RACHNACH
    Well said! emoticon
    164 days ago
    I have gone to restaurants and have seen families also with their head toward their phones. Not saying a word to each other. When we were bringing up our family everyone had a chance to talk about their day. We never answered the phone, had the TV on or the radio. It was family time. I'm so sorry what happened to your friends daughter. It's so very sad to lose one's child.
    164 days ago
  • no profile photo NYLAURA1
    It reminds me of the Simon and Garfunkel song Sounds of Silence
    164 days ago
    Isn't it insane how disconnected people are now! I went to dinner and there was a group of college kids that had come in for a dinner with their coach and not one of them actually had a conversation with the other (at least not verbally). Luckily I have a daughter who would rather have a verbal conversation with me than spend her time on social media.
    165 days ago
    165 days ago
  • JERICHO1991
    I like the "I'll wash, you dry" communication.
    165 days ago
    You are so right Jan!

    I don't text but everyone (except DH) around me does. emoticon

    166 days ago
  • no profile photo INCH_BY_INCH
    emoticon emoticon
    166 days ago
    emoticon emoticon for sharing !
    166 days ago
    166 days ago
    OMG i am so guilty of being more interested in my phone but in my own defense I do live alone and when I am with others I do pay attention to them
    I will have my disabled son home soon so this will change I hope
    166 days ago
    I agree with you completely. Technology is becoming the ruination of families, and is causing so many problems in our society. Children in the U.S. are becoming more and more obese. Why? Because they don't know how to go outside and play anymore. They sit glued to a screen. Either, texting, talking on the phone or playing video games. There are car accidents and deaths caused every day because of cell phone use while driving. I dislike learning about things that are going on with my children/grandchildren on social media instead of hearing about it in person. So, what is the answer? I sure don't know, but I wish I did.
    166 days ago
    What a tragic story...so, so sad. I teach young adults & and they walk around with earbuds stuck in their ears or staring down at some device, totally oblivious to the world around them. I'm so thankful all this technology was not around when I was a kid. It's addictive and all-consuming.
    166 days ago
    166 days ago
    Social media has become such a big part of our life, some for the good and some not so good.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts emoticon
    166 days ago
    Technology has definitely hurt our ability to communicate in person.
    166 days ago
    funny we used to live without them now we cant. they are good for when my husband is in the shed and supper is ready I can call him without disturbing the neighbors, at work i go on facebook and show my friends all young kids funny or happy posts only. .At a restaurant when service was ultra slow we googled the menu so we were ready when the server came and then it is off. I do admit to spend a couple hours here or facebook at night but i make a conscious effort to get up and visit with my husband for awhile even if it means watching wrestling yuk.
    166 days ago
    I wholeheartedly agree with you on this issue!! I think everyone is so wrapped up in the world of technology that they miss the beauty of nature, life, people around them. This is very sad but I like you and Tom belong to the dinosaur era and I would love for people to be considerate and to put down their phones, computers, etc. and live life. Stop breathe and enjoy each other.
    thank you for sharing!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    166 days ago
    It started happening at my house and so we have a set time that cell phones must be put away. They are never allowed at the dinner table! I laugh at how my 16 year old boys have their friends over and they are texting or Snapchatting each other from the same room! So crazy!! I made them all put their phones in a shoe box until the night was over. They had the best time after that! They were laughing and even getting noisy but I didn't care!
    166 days ago
    Technology has its good and bad points.
    166 days ago
    I see it all the time ...people staring at their phones...not just the younger generation older people too. I don't get it ...I think it's really sad to see people not even paying attention to the ones around them because they are busy staring at a phone. Nothing on my phone is more important then family time or talking to my husband.....whatever is on my phone can wait.
    166 days ago
    I am very concerned about this, and I hope to put this topic in the American Heritage Girls newsletter.

    I find the internet great for teaching and research. It depends on the source and who wrote it. I think many adults have as problems as the youth.

    Personally, I take a day off and also put the phone away when I'm visiting people. I turn it off at night. I have APPS, but limit how many and what they are.
    166 days ago
  • THINCPL2004
    I remember as a kid we would often eat dinner and watch the news. But when we went Grandma's house the nearest TV was in the family room on the other side of the house so there was always something to talk about. I see that too everywhere you go someone is always looking down on their smart phone. What really gets my blood boiling is watching people texting and driving from my patrol car and when I pull them over and give them a ticket for it, as they are driving off I see them still texting and driving. Thanks for sharing!
    166 days ago
    I so agree with you Tom and I enjoyed a nine adventure. we also watched people never speak to each other at dinner several nights . the saddest thing we saw as a family hiked to an emoticon overlook you had a 3/4 mile walk but the trial dropped 750 feet as you hiked they did the many steps at the trails end walked over the over look took a picture said no cell service and left they were at the view point 5 mins . glad we just sat and took in the view and the spray of the water heading into the canyon and taking pictures of adventure. my cell phone was back at Tom's house in Aurora ! it was useful the day we needed to know when the car was done in the repair shop thankful only a flat . we walked who wanted to watch TV ?
    166 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/3/2018 11:58:56 PM
  • no profile photo LAH1222
    I use my iPhone or iPad during the day, but if other people are around or I'm driving, my iPhone in put away out of sight in my purse. When my family or friends are together, we actually talk to each other. My grandchildren watch videos or play games on their tablets, but not when all of the grandchildren are together or if we are visiting. My husband and I use dish washing and drying by hand time to actually talk to each other.
    166 days ago
  • 2DAWN4
    Great blog! I have seen that scene many times!
    166 days ago
    We haven't ever done this, but my husband and I joke that we might start texting each other when we have to eat in a restaurant. My husband has hearing problems and wears aids. It is noise in higher range that he can't hear. Noisy environments like restaurants bother him. Neither of us like to talk loudly when we are in a restaurant. So we just might start using texts to communicate.

    166 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/3/2018 10:20:02 PM
  • CINDY247
    We have a rule No phones or tablets at the table You'd think it would be the my grandsons or my kids that would try to break our rule but no its my Mother the grandmother & the great grandmother who cant stay off her phone she lives on Facebook...
    167 days ago
    emoticon blog! emoticon emoticon emoticon I only use my cellphone while travelling for emergencies or to let my love ones know I'm on my way/status. emoticon on your Voted Featured Blog Post. emoticon emoticon
    167 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/3/2018 8:38:59 PM
    I see it every day and it's so sad, right in my own household too!

    Growing up we did dishes by hand and had sing-alongs (musical family) while cleaning up the table. I know not everyone has THAT kind of memory but gee whiz, isn't the person in front of you worth more than the one whose text you can read later in private?

    167 days ago
  • RAMONA1954
    I silence my phone at doctors offices. I enjoy good conversations with most dinner companions. At breakfast my brother is buried in the sports page. He doesn't talk because he gets choked on his food all the time.
    167 days ago
    A great blog! I am single and turn off social media at 8pm. I don't spend all day looking at my phone or social media. I turn off social media by 9pm.

    Edited to add: I also turn the sound off on my phone when visiting my parents.
    167 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/3/2018 6:29:01 PM
  • no profile photo BONDMANUS2002
    167 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    At dinner, phones are not allowed. Whether it is just me and my honey, or my girls included. We have never allowed phones to be answered or any texting to go on during meal time. It is just us as it should be.
    I can't understand why people are so caught up on social media and talking to those not present vs talking to those that are right next to you. Very sad indeed. Phones, the good, the bad and the ugly!
    Great blog. Let's hope it makes all of us stop and think about how we impact our families and what we are teaching the kids when we are not present during time together.
    167 days ago
    We live in scary times!
    167 days ago
    I could share a personal horror story related to tech use. But, I won't. As an educator I can share that in recent years the halls have gone quiet during passing periods because no one is speaking to one another. Students burst out classroom doors into the halls immediately reaching for their phones, walking, heads down, thumbs whirling over the key pad … texting away. It is how they communicate.

    My students have also been instructed that my preferred mode of communication is face-to-face. It took years before there was a student brave enough to speak up and let me know how terrifying it is for them to see that communication preference in writing on their course syllabus.

    Seriously, direct, face-to-face communication is a scary prospect for many of them. And, I do not teach children. I teach adults!

    167 days ago
    We have witnessed this at a restaurant. Except it was a teenager that was not texting, but both of his parents were! Both my hubby and I were very struck by it. We felt very sorry for the young man. emoticon
    167 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    I have never had anyone with me at a table or restaurant, use their phone. IF they ever did, I would tell them I am leaving and get up and go.
    TO these people who buy every techie thing for their kids and themselves, they will reap what they sow:pay Japan and China for things you do not need, give them your money and lose enjoying the gift of your family and friends.
    Boundaries should be set, save your money to spend on things you need, not every little foreign whim..
    167 days ago
    I'm in complete agreement and wish more people understood the ramifications of too much tech time and too little face-to-face conversations. Give me old fashioned any day.
    167 days ago
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