Jokes and school
Saturday, September 22, 2018
This is our assignment for the Aspire and Inspire sparkteam:
My school days were not happy. People call me cave woman and make fun of my speech. But once a year my Latin club would go to Latin convention.
It was so much fun. After the days quiz and sporting event . What were fun in themselves, we would party. It was fun we party with kids all over the state of Ohio, Also no one made fun of my speech.
Or perhaps what are three top life lessons you’ve learned and would like to share..
1. Money is not the root of all evil, fear is.
2. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
3. Believing in yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself.
4. God is 1st my friend/family is 2nd I am third.
or what are some things you want to learn in the future?
1. Web Design/Development
2. more about Political Science
3, creative writing
4. more about the bible
Excellent and Funny Thoughts About Walking
1. Walking 20 minutes can add hours to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $8000 per month.
2. My grandfather started walking five miles a day when he was 60.........................Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.
3. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
4. I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
5. I joined a health club last year, spent about 450 dollars. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.
6. Every time I hear the dirty word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
7. I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
8. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a very small country.
9. I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years....................just getting over the hill.
10. Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a "Happy Hour" and by the time I leave, I think I look just fine.
I don't jog............. it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
The Not-So-Dumb Blonde
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."
She asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.
The blonde thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
And you thought blondes were dumb.