Not really about weightloss. Overwhelmed with Life.
Wednesday, September 19, 2018
Did I ever mention that my husband and I have custody of his 10 yr old son? We didn't for the bulk of our relationship. Previously we had all 3 of his kids intermittently--like for the weekends. Then back in June, our son's mother decided that she couldn't handle him anymore and we went to pick him up. He's been with us since. ...
I've always wanted kids. I've always loved my husband's kids like they are my own. But...a 10 yr old with behavioral and educational issues? I'm not sure I can handle this. I know it's part of the package deal and I do love him, but this isn't how I envisioned my newlywed months being spent--pursuing educational and psychological testing, getting calls from the school over behavioral issues and living with 3 people in a 1 bedroom apartment because I haven't been able to secure a larger or more comfortable living arrangement yet.
I fear this is going to take a toll on my health, my weight loss, and my marriage. We are very good about putting each other first and trying to live the Christian marriage model, but I am currently feeling very lost and very overwhelmed.
Once we get testing results back and find out what the real issues are I can only pray that the information will help us make better choices as we move forward. But on days like today? I just wish I could send him back to his mom's even though I KNOW that's not what is in his best interest. I feel like a terrible mom for even saying something like that...
...I just feel like I'm drowning today.