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Day 259: A Rough Night

Sunday, September 16, 2018

"Start living now. Stop saving the good china for that special occasion. Stop withholding your love until that special person materializes. Every day you are alive is a special occasion. Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God." (Mary Manin Morrissey)

Hello my lovely friends!

Today is a brand new day and there is no perfect time than right now to move forward and get my life back on the road because it’s been hanging around on a broken down road waiting for something. I believe that we all go through those dark times in our lives and we want a way out and know what we need to do, but take forever to do it. We call it hitting rock bottom for a reason, but sometimes we stew in the rock bottom for some time.

I’m pretty sure that this past week changed things for me and I’m ready to move beyond where I’m at right now. Sitting around doing nothing for days just made me think about what I’m doing and if I stay on this road what may happen and I do not want to continue this way. I know that I have to let my Mom deal with things on her own and I have to do the same, but I do hate watching her in her pain.

My plan for this week is to wake up earlier than what I’ve been doing. If I get too much sleep I become lazy and this past week is proof of that. I’m going to set my alarm to get up and actually get up. If my Mom wants to stay in and sleep she is more than welcome to, but I’m getting up. I need to start getting my bedroom organized because I still have boxes here and there. My makeup drawers have never been organized, I just put stuff in there. Its those little things that have created chaos in my life. I think getting my bedroom together is a start. I still have the normal mowing the yard and all that, but I want to get things back on track in the house. Remember when the fridge died and we brought the one from the basement up? It’s still in the same place. I keep telling myself once I decide where I want to put it I’ll move it, but it really should be moved no matter what.

Around 4A.M., my Mom woke me up because she said she needed my help. She gets vertigo and it takes her out of commission for days. We were up for about two hours because it made her sick. Now she is resting and I’m trying to get a lot of stuff done around the house. I imagine this will go on for a couple of days. She’ll probably stay upstairs and I’ll bring her food up to her. It’s a good thing we have some TV trays.

A huge hug to you all for your support and suggestions, thank you! You all really have some great advice on what to do and how to get my Mom out of her hole. One thing I thought of was to get her to write down three good/positive things in her day. This way her focus is on what is good instead of how bad things are.

Also, asking for prayers because my Grandpa broke three ribs trying to chop wood. He fell back and the wood fell on him. I think he has finally realized his 95, I believe and he can’t do all that stuff. He is on pain meds, but is back at home. We’re going to see him on Tuesday depending on how my Mom is to see how things are.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I think that Morticia always has very sound advice. You can be there for you mother but you can only provide so much help. Taking care of you is really the most important job you have. Hard to do sometime because it feels selfish. Sending warm gentle hugs.
    4 days ago
  • LIS193
    Getting up up earlier and getting things done is a great motivator. Starting on your bedroom "your space" is a great idea. Good luck!!
    4 days ago
  • L*I*T*A*
    4 days ago
    Well, it sounds like you have a good plan! Getting your things all organized will help you be ready for anything. And getting the fridge in its new place will help things feel settled. I remember reading about a little boy who was usually sad at night, and his parents started having him write down one good thing on a circle of paper at bedtime. It really helped him! Before long, they had this lovely little garland of good things going around near the ceiling of the room, and the child was happy at night! It might be a little harder, given your mom's age, but it sounds like a very good idea for her. It's gotta help! I haven't been up to much lately. I'm thinking about studying math on my own at home, and taking a class in the Irish language in the evenings. I just have to register already, and see if there's a textbook that I need to buy! God bless your grandpa! I'm so sorry that he got hurt. I hope that he heals well.

    P.S. There's a non-drowsy dramamine medicine now. As an adult, she would take only one tablet a day, in the morning. And that would be each day, to help prevent any future problems. My cat needs to take that, but he only needs 1/6 of a tablet.
    5 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/16/2018 10:46:19 PM
    I am sorry your G'pa fell....95 and still cutting wood....wowzer………….
    Hope your Mom is able to feel better also. Another friend has issues with
    Vertigo and she has to take meds and it takes her weeks to get up and around.

    Hope things are on track for you, I know you like things orderly.

    You inspired me to clean out my desk and get some boxes for items that
    need donated to get them out of here....fall hazards, not to mention clutter
    drives me nuts.

    5 days ago
  • LINDA!
    First, I want to say that I am praying for your grandfather. This is very sad. I think you are right. You need to get up and do some things to make you feel better. I know from experience, too much sitting around just gets us more depressed. Hope that your mother is feeling better.
    5 days ago
    You are wise to do what it takes for you while supporting your Mom. I think that idea of having your Mom write down 3 positive things a day is a good idea.

    Prayers and so sorry to hear about your Grandfather's rib breaks. So utterly painful.
    5 days ago
  • EDWARDS1411
    5 days ago
    I know you don't want your mom to suffer and, hopefully, at some point she won't have to. She deserves to be happy and all of her loved ones want her to be. You have been very selfless and have concentrated on her but it's time to ease back into a normal way of life. It will help her too to see you getting back to doing the things you love to do. You need to get back to being yourself again. I miss the old Paula who is into makeup and her hair and her nails and decorating and cooking and all kinds of ways to improve your life.............it's what I have come to expect of you.

    I will be praying for your mom and grandpa. Hugs.
    5 days ago
    I love this. It sounds like you are ready to get your life back and I commend you for that. I agree with what you said about sleeping too much making you lazy (which is probably not the exact word but I get it). I've missed my gym days for several days and the longer I stay away the more tired and sore I become. I know this but..... you know how it goes. So I have committed to go try out a new class tomorrow. Then I have my regular classes on Tuesday - Thursday and I will not miss them.

    I hope your mom is okay today. Do you think maybe she's having some bouts of anxiety? My DH has that and when it's bad it makes him feel off balance and then it seems to take a lot out of him. It would make sense to me that your mom feels anxious because your dad's not there and she did depend on him. Just a thought.

    Have a lovely rest of your day. I'm finally getting out of my own way and cleaning my house!
    5 days ago

    First off..prayers for your mom thats shes feeling better soon..and prayers for your Grandpa that hes felling better too!! my mom is the same way..88 and she fell and broke ribs getting into her canoe.

    on the other. when my kids were little i got them some books on how to do helpful things. one was cleaning their bedroom. funny thing is, once read it to them i thought GEEZ...thats for EVERYONE. and its how i declutter, rearrange, and clean rooms now.

    it said...put everything from the area you are working on on the bed (couch, kitchen table..whatever is inconvenient to LEAVE that way) Now. vacuum and dust. now. start putting things where they belong. you cant sleep in your bed until everything is off it and put away!!

    it sounds so stupidly simple..but it works. i did it with my closet one shelf at a time. EVERYTHING came off the top shelf onto my bed. i had a box for good stuff i could take to help others. a bin to throw anything too worn or outdated in. and the rest was folded neatly and put back in its place. i have 6 shelves, it took 5 days because one shelf was really easy so i did 2 that day. it was amazing to see the closet, after years of just tossing stuff in, be organized, useful, and a joy to look at.
    anyhow..just a thought that it might help you, too!!
    5 days ago
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