Hello old friends

9 months since the last time I really used all my Spark tools? Wow. How did that happen? I still consider myself a Sparkie. Cogito, ergo sum. I think, therefore I am. Spark is my go-to life style. And I use many of my Beck cognitive tools in most aspects of my life.

So, I am roaring back into the thick of things. And the first thing I discovered is that there is going to be Beck Pink group reading starting October 1. Perfect timing for me. I’m in. What luck.

I have not spent the last 9 months sitting on the sofa eating bonbons. I have been working hard on grass roots political action. I am still at it. And I have a sense of satisfaction that no matter what the outcome I have done what I am capable of doing. That is a very good thing. I’m not done either. But that is a different blog for a different website and it has only a little bit to do with being a dedicated Sparkie. Good work and a sense of purpose are a part of well-being. An important part. That part of my life is on track.

Right now, my biggest challenges, no make that down fall, are physical pain and sugar addiction. Two years ago, I had an ankle injury. I could not walk my usual 5 miles a day. And I “comforted myself” with sugar again. I have struggled with sugar for more than 30 years. I injured the other ankle last April. Ugh. And I drowned my sorrows in pints of ice cream. This time physical therapy does not seem to be helping. I don’t like pain. Grrrrrr. My world became a dark and dreary place.

I guess it is no coincidence that I quit my evil sugar poison last week and today my mental fitness is improving. Enough that I really want to be back into Beck again and I intend to use the log and trackers as they are intended to be used. I am suddenly not feeling at all sorry for myself. And I truly believe that if I keep at it my ankle will improve. It just will. Not only that, I suddenly remember that I like tracking and logging and that I enjoy using cognitive behavioral tools. The only difference between today and a week ago is that I have not eaten refined sugar. It feels like a heavy cloud has opened up to let sunlight in. I feel like two entirely different people. I think like two entirely different people.

The bad news crazy thing about me is that I have done this hundreds of times over my lifetime. Or maybe the great happy thing is that I have quit the stuff hundreds of times over my lifetime. Today is one of the happy times.