I'm Not Ready For This
Wednesday, September 12, 2018
I should have known last winter by the fact that I only wore a coat of any kind when I needed to put fuel in my vehicle that something was amiss. And I didn't realize that it could even get any worse than that either.
Ha! Was I wrong!
It started slowly. The foggy mind. Forgetting things. Not remembering the little things. Then the night sweats and not sleeping really well. Yeah, it was all starting to happen.
But no one prepared me for what was about to happen.
It seemed to happen all at once. And come out of nowhere. Suddenly the gates of "hell" were opened and I was placed firmly in the center of the furnace. I could be sitting in a freezer and still be dripping wet with sweat. Oh, and the stench? I was starting to smell like an old sweat sock that had been left in a ten year old's gym bag for a week. And that was two hours after I took a shower and put deodorant on. And I'm not fond of the fact that I've reverted back to my 13th birthday look of greasy locks and pimply skin.
But the thing that has thrown me for a loop is the mood. Being bipolar has prepared me for mood swings, but nothing like this. The past few weeks have suddenly left me on guard to the fact that I might need bail and an alibi before this is all done and over.
But the good news is that I did become pro-active and visit my doctor this morning. They did take blood to test to see if I'm really in menopause and to see if I qualify for hormone replacement therapy. I need something, because I'm really chaotic right now.