When I want Romeo to increase his speed, I use the phrase "pick it up now". I'm feeling the need to start saying this to myself!
I just read over my last - very ambitious - blog. I was clearly feeling motivated that day!
I've been making some efforts on making more healthy choices and I've seen some results. I've lost an inch off my waist since hubby went on vacation. And that is awesome!! I'm happy about that, but I also know that at least 1/2 inch of that can be attributed to the 5 days I just spent in bed with the flu. I know that I haven't been putting in anywhere near the effort that I could be.
I haven't been drinking my water quota EVERY day - and really, there's no excuse for that. I have made a conscious effort to drink more water, but it's time to pick it up on this one.
I haven't been exercising the way that I know makes me feel good inside & out. Some of this I have excuse for - flu & also I have a torn rotator cuff in my shoulder & have been told zero riding for 2-6 weeks. But, I also know that I could be hiking with the dogs instead & doing strength training exercises. Time to pick it up on this one too.
My eating has been quite good. I've kept junk food out of the house & ate mostly nutrient dense foods, low GI, lower carb. I'm still struggling with night time over-eating, but have chosen lower calorie foods - mostly berries, grapes, zero calorie freezies - when I'm giving in to the cravings. I'm also making an effort to go to bed earlier as it seems the worst choices I make are in the last 1/2 hour I'm up.
I haven't been tracking food like I said I would - but on this one, I'm going to say I should have known better. I've been seriously working to achieve a healthy weight for almost a decade now & have never been able to make myself track food consistently for more than a week or so. I know how effective & important tracking are, so I keep giving it a go. But I need to just let this one go. 10 years I've never been successful at it - but I have been successful at losing weight. I know when I'm overeating and when I'm not - even when I'm not tracking food. When tracking is useful for me is when I'm feeling like I really overate the day before. Sometimes when I track that, I can see the damage isn't as bad as I thought - and that helps me get past it & refocus on making better choices for the next day.
To help me "pick it up", I've joined a weight-loss challenge at my work. 10 of us put in $20 each & the person who loses the greatest percentage of weight over 8 weeks wins the pot. To join this challenge, I had to get on a scale with one of my co-workers watching to verify starting weight. Well, fudge. I've been seriously avoiding the scale since January. I KNOW I've gained a lot of weight because I've gone up 2 pant sizes. But I didn't want to face those numbers. And, dammit, it was worse than I thought but not as bad as my darkest fear. I was so scared I was in the 200's again... and I was close at 198.5. Gulp. I've gained 30lbs since I started this job 7 months ago. And when I think about the inch I just lost - that's probably about another 5-10 lbs...so I was over 200 this year. That makes me feel sick to my stomach. I've worked so hard and gone through so much to fight my weight. And here I am again.
As I near 50, I've come to realize how cyclical life is. It really is a spiral & not a straight line. The lessons we need to learn come around again and again, so we can learn on a deeper level. Clearly learning how to honour, respect and care for myself are lessons I need to just keep coming back to.
Here I am again, but I am NOT starting over. I'm carrying on. It's a long & windy journey. Sometimes we go slow, sometimes we back track & sometimes we pick it up and move along a little faster.
Today, I'm going to head out with my dogs on a long hike. I'm going to stop by and see my horse and work on liberty ground work (no rope, so my shoulder will be safe) and I'm going to make great food choices all day so that I have extra wiggle room for my co-worker's engagement party tonight. I'm going to fill that water bottle & keep it next to me. I'm going to let my crazy competitive streak keep me on track & win that money from my coworkers!
I'm going to pick it up now.