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On a lighter, brighter note...

Wednesday, August 29, 2018

I got permission from my hairdresser to color my own hair, as my dark roots were becoming visible at the crown of my head. (Yes, I DO stand in awe and fear of her, as she has control of a very visible part of my appearance... ). We agreed on the color choice, and she gave me a couple tips, which I promptly forgot/ignored! (I am not going to cower, even before my hairdresser...) I did go with the color we discussed though. There’s not a lot of choice to be purchased locally, and I didn’t feel like placing an order online and waiting for it to arrive. When I made the decision to color, it was a sudden decision... as in “I think I will do this this afternoon...” while doing my errands at noon... lol! Please pay no attention to my selfie deficient picture, I know I have had the phone for a year now, but I don’t generally like pictures of myself, so why would I take many selfies, except for a specific purpose? Haha! I think the color came out well. I can tell I did it myself. It just isn’t as even and precise as when Eva does it, but I like how the colors blended. The sapphire color from the old dye job had mostly faded to teal, and I used a teal color-deposit shampoo, which turned the pink into purple... and most of the original purple disappeared with my last haircut. When I first applied the blue dye, I was concerned that it was going to cover all the other colors, despite my attempts to keep it to the roots (my hairdresser warned me not to do it completely on my own, but to get someone to help, but did I listen? Nope, I was just too impatient!). Thankfully, when it completely dried it became obvious that some hints of teal and purple remained, giving it depth and interest. Yay! I am really happy with the color right now. I am just wondering if it will fade out differently than the dye my hairdresser uses, especially since I didn’t bleach my roots before applying the blue? (I really did not follow directions!). I am actually having mixed feelings about dyeing my hair such vibrant colors anymore... on one hand it directs attention away from me as a person, which I like for my social anxiety. But on the other hand, I am also more likely to be approached by strangers who say “love the hair!” Not so good for the anxiety... though the strangers are generally NOT interested in me at all, except for my hair, and they move on immediately for the most part. There IS the vanity part of the equation as well... I get pleasure from looking at my hair when I brush my teeth, or wash my hands, or do anything that ends up with me looking in a mirror (though really that doesn’t happen very often in the scheme of things, but 5 seconds of smiles is still worth it, right?). I have been going grey for, oh the last 10 years or so, and I don’t hate the idea of going grey, but it doesn’t brighten my heart or make me smile, when I see my reflection! This life is hard enough, and pain and betrayal happen... but when I look in the mirror I smile at my mermaid hair. Little pleasures, sometimes they can mean so much. So, I doubt I will stop dyeing my hair bright and strange colors anytime soon. I have kinda just talked myself into weighing the pro side of equation much heavier than the con side... lol! I just thought that today I would write a blog about something happy and light, since all I am doing at this point is waiting for test results... and I don’t wait very well most of the time, and think of “what if’s” can put me in a dark place. Writing this, frivolous as it may have seemed made my heart lighter, so... mission accomplished!
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