today's just about a couple of things that are rolling around in my mind today and for the last couple of days
not about food or scales but things i've noticed about me and that after all is what my project is .. working on me
first .. hubs and i have a pop up highwall hard top triangular shaped Rockwood trailer .. i love it .. has a queen sized bed you never have to put down, fridge, 3 burners, sink, microwave, radio, lots of storage and over 8 feet tall at the peak .. it makes camping easy peasy .. lol
one of my goals is to camp alone .. to do this requires me to hook the thing up to the truck and actually drive it and back it in somewhere .. it's not an immediate goal .. and btw why can't i do this i grew up on a farm driving whatever you can imagine - soft .. lol
for the last three years i have helped to set up and pop down but not hook up nor drive .. last camping trip i decided to drive the thing once hooked - it is over 7000 lbs after all .. and it was pretty good but i thought at the time i was a distracted driver ..
this camping trip i backed the truck up to hook to the ball and then drove for further than last time .. again i thought i might be a distracted driver .. and by this i don't really mean not paying attention but i cannot shut down my mind .. i've blogged about this before ...
today went like this .. driving .. keep your hands at 10 and 2 .. what is he doing .. what is he looking at .. take this curve wider than you would .. why are you driving so far over to the right .. when is the passing lane coming up .. is that a squirrel over there .. wonder if there is any moose on the side of the road .. how far is home .. geez this doesn't feel heavy .. oh yes it does when you go uphill .. oh birds .. so pretty that lake .. curve coming up .. what is he reading .. why does he keep looking at .. squirrel ..
you get the gist .. and i don't think i'm a distracted driver but where my brain goes is .. stop i cat ...sorry .. anyone's guess at any time :)
second ... i was also looking at my pictures recently of when i did a rugged maniac challenge .. you know 5km 25 things to climb over under through mud water height etc .. not for the weak at heart ..
what i noted is that i walk with my head down and almost all the pictures taken of me moving from obstacle to obstacle i was watching just ahead of me at my feet .. i am wondering why .. i'm not going to fall am i afraid i will .. do i not want to meet anyone's gaze .. am i hiding myself in this manner .. i practiced walking with my gaze further ahead when we tramped on the trails in Algonquin Park this past few days ... it was FKN hard.
i looked it up .. one website said this and i'm not sure i believe it:
Dejection - Walking with hands in pockets, shoulders hunched, eyes downcast
but then it also said it could be unhappiness (Hunched shoulders, staring at floor, head hangs forward and down) or submissiveness. hmm and i don't walk with my hands in my pockets .. more thought required
ok so those are my ramblings and thoughts that are rolling around .. all in MY mind .. what's in yours?