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Feed Me

Sunday, August 12, 2018

I look at that photo, and smile. There’s no doubt I was loved--although I was an "oops baby" as my mom was at the advanced age (for the time) of 39 when I was born. The last of five, I was well-loved and well-fed. I've dipped a toe here and there into several types of books to try and understand this weird relationship I have with food and there’s no doubt in my mind that some of the way I’m wired stems way back to my formative years. Feeding me was my mom’s way of showing love. If I skinned my knee, or fell out with a friend, there was a ready supply of edible treats to make me feel better. Bad times, good times, difficult times, tears…all medicated with food.

Back then I’m sure I was regarded as a "healthy" baby--nowadays probably not so much. Looking at the picture, the roly baby physique isn’t a million miles away from what I see right now as I look down at the roll of fat on my stomach (although let’s not forget there are some seriously foxy washboard abs under all of that). I do speak from a position of certainty, however, when I say nobody’s going to look at the adult roly physique and say "Awww…" in quite the same way.

In many respects, as an overweight adult, the bigger you are the more invisible you become. Weird.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oops babies are a special gift from God
    Hubby and I and my daughter heidie almost my last
    7 days ago
    Don't let other's opinion of you form your opinion of yourself. You are better than that...you are amazing. Never forget. It's not all about outside appearances.

    I get where you are coming from regarding food being the fix for everything. Growing up in the 60's and 70's I recall my mom saying it's alright...have a cookie and it will all be better. Being a member of the clean plate club was something you felt you needed to do. And don't forget throwing food away and all the hungry kids in Africa (or someplace else). Now the thinking is if kids are not hungry don't force them. They will eat when they are hungry. It's part of a cycle that is hard to break when you've been living it for 50+ years.
    7 days ago
    oh yes. The bigger you are and also I have found, the older you are, the more invisible you become. What a sweet little girl you were...and what a lovely woman you’ve grown into. When we accept responsibility for the “now” instead of looking back, real change can happen.

    8 days ago
    God doesn't make an "oops" baby. Love your reflection.
    8 days ago
    Only if you stay away
    8 days ago
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