2,500-3,999 SparkPoints 3,980

post surgery life

Sunday, August 12, 2018

On Monday (6 days ago), I had my lap band removed. I had it for about four years - during those four years, I struggled with eating and had a lot of pain, reflux, and vomiting. After dealing with this almost every day for such a long time, I weighed only 18 pounds less than when I had the band put in. It was so not worth it. I went to a new provider and they found that my band had been over-filled - there was more fluid in it than my records showed, which was likely the cause of me not being able to keep anything down. They took out all the fluid and I could eat again! That was in May. After a barium scan, they found that the band had slipped, and less than two weeks of finding that out I was in the hospital getting it removed.

During my pre-op visit, the surgeon pointed out that I *will* gain weight after the removal. The encouraged me to have another weight loss operation. He said "I wish I could do a sleeve on you at the same time that we are taking out the band." A gastric sleeve is where they remove about 80% of your stomach and you are left with a tube-like "sleeve" for the rest of your life. He said he felt bad for me having such poor quality of life. This was without asking me anything about my quality of life.

The surgery was much more invasive than I was prepared for. Putting the band in, I had two small incisions, one in my belly button and one at the top of my abdomen. I woke up to 6 incisions on Monday. The same one in my belly button, four other small ones, and one rather large cut on the lower right side of my stomach. For the first couple of days I was too out of it from pain meds and the after-effects of anesthesia to think about it too much. But I would look at them, taking a picture every day so that I could gauge my healing progress. Then I started having really negative feelings about the incisions, and about my body. They are disgusting. Huge, red gashes across my torso, with black bruises 3 or 4 inches across. I felt like something from a haunted house. I hate looking at them. I hate the idea of the scars they will leave. Is this some kind of projection about my feelings regarding this whole lap band fiasco? Do I really hate them because they will leave a constant reminder that I let someone invade my body, that I was convinced that I "needed" to lose weight, that I've been duped by our societies standards of "health" and beauty?"

These thoughts keep swirling around inside my head. Why do I want to lose weight? Even in the hospital, they said I am a very healthy person. So why do I care so much about this? Because my BMI puts me in the "obese" category? But I feel fine (except the pain from the surgery now that I am out of meds). Yet for some reason, I have this goal, this idea that I need to lose weight. With no real answer to the question of "why?"
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It sounds so very scary a procedure! Both of them, but this last one has made you free in your own body. You are your decisions now. emoticon

    I would look at NSV (non-scale victories) having to do with exercise and any weight loss. I was astounded, but some people come to SP because they need to gain weight to be healthy, and they want to do it in a safe and healthy way. But I am not one of those people. It's up to you to do what your want and feel is best for you.

    I did not join SP to meet any beauty standard, solely for my health.

    162 days ago
  • RHOOK20047
    I decided against the lap band surgery when I had my sleeve in 2014. When they told me the % of people who gained their weight back after 5 years, and the possible complications, and the food restrictions, the sleeve seemed a better fit for me. And it was. The pain was minimal, and I have kept the most of the weight off. It is a life long journey though to stay the course. Heal up from this surgery and weigh the pros and cons and make an educated choice. The center I went through was very thorough in letting me know all the details of each surgery. And things have changed in just 4 years I had my surgery and the procedures have been improved. TLC channel has programs on the surgeries that are a little graphic but show what happens int he surgery.
    163 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    163 days ago
    I hope you are surprised at how much the what look like haunted house scars now change and minimize themselves. Don't beat yourself up over this. Rest. Recover. You will be able to sort everything out when there is a bit more distance from the surgery.
    163 days ago
    emoticon I have never heard a surgical blotch as bad as yours

    so sorry you are going through all this

    have you consulted a lawyer to see if anything can done to the first doctor who put all the wrong informatjon done and causing you pain and more surgeries?

    163 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by AGENTVEG