Deep Thoughts From the Gym
Sunday, August 12, 2018
*Dear Treadmill, I come to you feeling stressed out and inundated with unhelpful thoughts. You welcome me and allow me to walk (and RUN) all over you. Sometimes, I feel like we climb mountains together. You provide me with safety and stability (unlike those pesky uneven side walks). The more time I spend with you, the more those negative thoughts pour/sweat out of me. You always make me feel happier and saner. I wanted to hug you goodbye today, but I don't think the world is ready for me to do such a thing in public. Just know...I love you!
*Dear Elliptical trainer, I think it's really cool that you ask my weight and then age and I must press "OK" after each before you let me continue. You require self-acceptance before someone begins their journey with you. That's profound and deep. Of course, many times I have lied to you and you still let me continue?!
*Dear Hip Adductor, You are quite popular at our gym and it's hard to get some alone time with you. Even when I have alone time with you, I am stalked by a bunch of other ladies waiting to pounce and get their turn. You are like "The Bachelor," not that I would EVER watch such a cheesy and at times demeaning TV show, but so I've heard. Today, I had to turn to another lady stalking me a little too closely and say, "I need a few more minutes." It may be challenging to get my time with you, but I always benefit from it.
*Thank you for not kicking me out every time I go into rock star lip sync mode while exercising. Sadly, during Zumba, I have started actually singing out loud....and I need to work on that. Nobody should have to subjected to that.
*Why hasn't anyone invented a workout nose-plug so we don't have to smell those deodorant fails or farts that always come from THAT person who choses the machine right next to me when there are plenty to chose from? OK occasionally I am THAT person...